2:00 am in a cold sweat I woke up next to XXX. Though
I didn't open my eyes, I felt something running down both
sides of my face. With the back of my hand I brushed them away.
Rolling down my cheeks were two solid lines of tears.
Never before and never since have I ever actually woken
myself up from by crying in dead sleep.
I couldn't remember the dream, but the message was clear.
Something very bad was about to happen to someone I cared
very much about. It was like something knelt beside me while
I was sleeping and whispered this into my ear.
It was just so clear that I was looking upon something horrible
but I had no details…none. Because of the intensity of which I
awoke, I assumed it was my mother. I guess premonitions aren't
really spelled out for you, are they?
XXX grunted, as if to say, "What's your problem? Go back
to sleep." Though he annoyingly and unconsciously resisted,
I pried apart his arms and wrapped myself in them. I rested my
head on his chest, tears still falling. His shirt must be soaked by
the time I actually fell back asleep. It was better that way anyhow.
I wouldn't know what to say to him, or how to explain why I woke us
both up crying. I know him; he would have told me I was overreacting.
The next morning when we were both awake I would explain.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Introducing the "Himbo" (Male Bimbo)
This is a word coined by dictionary.com. Definition- "A male
bimbo, who uses his good looks but is superficial and unintelligent."
I was the gym this morning watching the Today's Show, as is my
normal morning routine, and this perfect segment came on.
I was talking to a few friends about how independent women
have it harder then stupid bimbos. I guess it's true what they
say, ignorance is bliss. None the less a friend of mine was insisting
that he is far more interested in women who have something to say,
how are independent and don't put up with nonsense. Especially
from men. His point was that if he ever had a daughter, she would
be inclined to emulate her mother's behavior. He really wanted his
daughter to be a strong person. Bravo to you, you know who you are.
You are without the only person I've ever heard those words from!
Generally speaking I think that independent, successful women have
a tougher time. This himbo segment on TV reminded me of this.
They were saying the new trend is for successful women to sport
some eye candy on their arms. That is kind of sad, no? Of course
the most famous himbo sited was K-Fed. Per the dictionary.com
definition, is he a really a himbo? According to that definition, a
himbo is someone who uses his "good looks." He is the greasiest,
most transparent, not talent bum ever...he ain't hot!
I think intelligence is one of the sexiest qualities a guy can have.
Next to humor and kindness of course. I've gone out on a few dates
with some really air headed men and it ended up being an early night!
I suppose that is why I dig guys with glasses, there is always that
sense of intelligence, I realize it's a little vain. Doesn't someone's
personality make or break them? Maybe I'm being ridiculous and
idealistic, but if someone is really that dumb, no way I'm going
to be in to it.
While it's debatable whether or not this guy was an idiot or just a
jerk...I didn't realize we were on a date. In fact (this before I got
my present gig) it was supposed to be an informational interview.
Well this Bloomberg TV anchor clearly had the wrong idea.
After trying to impress me by telling me all about his used Saturn,
he grabbed my hand and told me if I wanted to get anywhere in
this business I would need to learn how to flirt more.
He proceeded to swing me around in my chair and tell me I
needed to "fix my body language when I was talking to him."
That would be about the time I excused myself to go to the
bathroom and DID NOT COME BACK! HAH!
What I'm trying to say is, how could anyone date/be interested
in a moron or someone with a such a craptastic personality.
If it's just sex, well that is something that can always be improved.
Unfortunately, in terms of personality...you are who you are. So
for any himbo's reading my blog-If you can both read and comprehend
this post, I'm impressed. Now take a hike!
bimbo, who uses his good looks but is superficial and unintelligent."
I was the gym this morning watching the Today's Show, as is my
normal morning routine, and this perfect segment came on.
I was talking to a few friends about how independent women
have it harder then stupid bimbos. I guess it's true what they
say, ignorance is bliss. None the less a friend of mine was insisting
that he is far more interested in women who have something to say,
how are independent and don't put up with nonsense. Especially
from men. His point was that if he ever had a daughter, she would
be inclined to emulate her mother's behavior. He really wanted his
daughter to be a strong person. Bravo to you, you know who you are.
You are without the only person I've ever heard those words from!
Generally speaking I think that independent, successful women have
a tougher time. This himbo segment on TV reminded me of this.
They were saying the new trend is for successful women to sport
some eye candy on their arms. That is kind of sad, no? Of course
the most famous himbo sited was K-Fed. Per the dictionary.com
definition, is he a really a himbo? According to that definition, a
himbo is someone who uses his "good looks." He is the greasiest,
most transparent, not talent bum ever...he ain't hot!
I think intelligence is one of the sexiest qualities a guy can have.
Next to humor and kindness of course. I've gone out on a few dates
with some really air headed men and it ended up being an early night!
I suppose that is why I dig guys with glasses, there is always that
sense of intelligence, I realize it's a little vain. Doesn't someone's
personality make or break them? Maybe I'm being ridiculous and
idealistic, but if someone is really that dumb, no way I'm going
to be in to it.
While it's debatable whether or not this guy was an idiot or just a
jerk...I didn't realize we were on a date. In fact (this before I got
my present gig) it was supposed to be an informational interview.
Well this Bloomberg TV anchor clearly had the wrong idea.
After trying to impress me by telling me all about his used Saturn,
he grabbed my hand and told me if I wanted to get anywhere in
this business I would need to learn how to flirt more.
- Firstly, I' am a flirt...don't need much help there!
- Secondly, I prefer to get a job because of my resume
- and intelligence/ability, not because I flirted with
- some anchor who seems very impressed with himself
- and his used Saturn.
- Thirdly, ewwww.
He proceeded to swing me around in my chair and tell me I
needed to "fix my body language when I was talking to him."
That would be about the time I excused myself to go to the
bathroom and DID NOT COME BACK! HAH!
What I'm trying to say is, how could anyone date/be interested
in a moron or someone with a such a craptastic personality.
If it's just sex, well that is something that can always be improved.
Unfortunately, in terms of personality...you are who you are. So
for any himbo's reading my blog-If you can both read and comprehend
this post, I'm impressed. Now take a hike!
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Myspace In Court...Again
A 14 year old girl in Austin Texas filed a 30 million dollar law
suite against myspace this morning. The girl was sexually
assaulted by a nineteen year old male she met via myspace.
This suite is one of a dozen to recently speak out against the site
in recent weeks. There are tons of copy cat networks like
myspace, but for some reason they haven't taken off to the
same degree. While I find myself often on the site, mostly to
check email and post a blog, I do go on it.
Personally, I find the novelty wearing off. I really don't think
I want to know THAT much about anyone! It also make the
dating world kind of tricky and unappealing, at least for me!
Getting back on track here, I agree that the site doesn't take
privacy and or security all that seriously. Actions speak louder
then words. I don't see people getting kicked off the site for lewd
or abusive behavior. The argument here always seems to boil
down to parents vs. internet security. They are both at fault!
Yes you should know what the hell your kids are up to.
However, now more then ever it's really easy to hide stuff
online. Parents have to be smarter then their children but
myspace is not off the hook. If you are going to say you take
aggressive measures, well then you should put your money
where your mouth is.
I've had a number of articles forwarded to me regarding various
effects of myspace. There have been a tremendous amount of
sexual assaults on minors. There have been a handful of murders.
There have been rumors of terrorists networks infiltrating the
site to gain information. There have been identity thieves.
One of the interesting lesser discussed side effects of myspace
and the internet in general has actually been sexual dysfunction.
A friend sent me an interesting article about the conditioning of
men (mostly) who use the internet. Is it really a shock that we
are keeping Perverted Justice so busy when we seem to be feeding
the flame? Myspace seems to have created a climate where it's
okay for 16 year old girls to get naked and speak to 30 year old guys.
Gee, I wonder why there seems to be a problem. All parties are at
fault. I still stick by my theory that for those who use the internet
wisely, enjoy the network while you can. It's on it's way out!
suite against myspace this morning. The girl was sexually
assaulted by a nineteen year old male she met via myspace.
This suite is one of a dozen to recently speak out against the site
in recent weeks. There are tons of copy cat networks like
myspace, but for some reason they haven't taken off to the
same degree. While I find myself often on the site, mostly to
check email and post a blog, I do go on it.
Personally, I find the novelty wearing off. I really don't think
I want to know THAT much about anyone! It also make the
dating world kind of tricky and unappealing, at least for me!
Getting back on track here, I agree that the site doesn't take
privacy and or security all that seriously. Actions speak louder
then words. I don't see people getting kicked off the site for lewd
or abusive behavior. The argument here always seems to boil
down to parents vs. internet security. They are both at fault!
Yes you should know what the hell your kids are up to.
However, now more then ever it's really easy to hide stuff
online. Parents have to be smarter then their children but
myspace is not off the hook. If you are going to say you take
aggressive measures, well then you should put your money
where your mouth is.
I've had a number of articles forwarded to me regarding various
effects of myspace. There have been a tremendous amount of
sexual assaults on minors. There have been a handful of murders.
There have been rumors of terrorists networks infiltrating the
site to gain information. There have been identity thieves.
One of the interesting lesser discussed side effects of myspace
and the internet in general has actually been sexual dysfunction.
A friend sent me an interesting article about the conditioning of
men (mostly) who use the internet. Is it really a shock that we
are keeping Perverted Justice so busy when we seem to be feeding
the flame? Myspace seems to have created a climate where it's
okay for 16 year old girls to get naked and speak to 30 year old guys.
Gee, I wonder why there seems to be a problem. All parties are at
fault. I still stick by my theory that for those who use the internet
wisely, enjoy the network while you can. It's on it's way out!
Monday, June 19, 2006
Yikes Britney
Pretty much every gossip column is now reporting that
Britney Spears's Dateline NBC Interview with Matt Lauer
was conducted without a publicist and a hair/make-up person.
Yikes! I didn't have the opportunity to see the entire thing,
however in an effort to minimize any further self destruction
Spear's publicist asked that footage of her less then flattering
interview not be released to programs such as "E!".
What I did gather is that an emotionally distraught Spears was
pleading for privacy. On one hand, I feel bad for her. I feel
really bad for her children! On the other hand, it's always a
compromise. What did you thing would happen when you became
an international pop sensation super star? I don't want to harp on
Britney's appearance, as women are all to frequently criticized for
this (I'm guilty of this myself), however I think it was an
unprofessional decision. While it did a certain sincerity to the piece,
was it really a great idea? It takes a village to maintain a high
profile for a celebrity. That is why you have a publicist and
make-up/hair artists at your beck and call.
It's really all a business. For some people like Paris Hilton
disgrace and shame can be worked into a public persona, but it's
not something that everyone can do. In fact it's pretty much a
pneumonia onto Paris Hilton herself. Hey, she works it, so whatever.
Spears on the other hand needs a little help. Then again,
(from what I saw) Spears looked so pathetic and victimized, will
this work to her benefit? You know what they say, any publicity is
good publicity. I guess we will just have to see how this unravels.
Britney Spears's Dateline NBC Interview with Matt Lauer
was conducted without a publicist and a hair/make-up person.
Yikes! I didn't have the opportunity to see the entire thing,
however in an effort to minimize any further self destruction
Spear's publicist asked that footage of her less then flattering
interview not be released to programs such as "E!".
What I did gather is that an emotionally distraught Spears was
pleading for privacy. On one hand, I feel bad for her. I feel
really bad for her children! On the other hand, it's always a
compromise. What did you thing would happen when you became
an international pop sensation super star? I don't want to harp on
Britney's appearance, as women are all to frequently criticized for
this (I'm guilty of this myself), however I think it was an
unprofessional decision. While it did a certain sincerity to the piece,
was it really a great idea? It takes a village to maintain a high
profile for a celebrity. That is why you have a publicist and
make-up/hair artists at your beck and call.
It's really all a business. For some people like Paris Hilton
disgrace and shame can be worked into a public persona, but it's
not something that everyone can do. In fact it's pretty much a
pneumonia onto Paris Hilton herself. Hey, she works it, so whatever.
Spears on the other hand needs a little help. Then again,
(from what I saw) Spears looked so pathetic and victimized, will
this work to her benefit? You know what they say, any publicity is
good publicity. I guess we will just have to see how this unravels.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
:-) The Great Equalizer
In a conversation with a friend the other night it occurred
to me that in the world of email and internet, the smiley face
is the great equalizer. It can make any sentence, phrase
or comment totally ambiguous. As if it was not hard enough
to read inflection in words you never hear spoken, now
we have the smiley face...There is the condescending smiley
face, the flirtatious smiley face, the friendly smiley face and
my favorite the WTF smiley face!
I personally don't use the smiley face in a conducing way :-)
I have friends who analyze the smiley face in emails and ask
"Well what do you think it means, she littered this email with
smile faces, she must like me right?" Or better yet
"What does this comment mean? It's pretty mean but
then she left a smiley face at the end." You can confuse the hell
out of anyone with a smiley face!
Example; You are a big fat jerk :-) . It's okay that
I called you a big fat jerk because the smiley face erases any kind
of harshness. Anything before the smiley face is simply moot!
In conclusion, easy with e-motions :-)
to me that in the world of email and internet, the smiley face
is the great equalizer. It can make any sentence, phrase
or comment totally ambiguous. As if it was not hard enough
to read inflection in words you never hear spoken, now
we have the smiley face...There is the condescending smiley
face, the flirtatious smiley face, the friendly smiley face and
my favorite the WTF smiley face!
I personally don't use the smiley face in a conducing way :-)
I have friends who analyze the smiley face in emails and ask
"Well what do you think it means, she littered this email with
smile faces, she must like me right?" Or better yet
"What does this comment mean? It's pretty mean but
then she left a smiley face at the end." You can confuse the hell
out of anyone with a smiley face!
Example; You are a big fat jerk :-) . It's okay that
I called you a big fat jerk because the smiley face erases any kind
of harshness. Anything before the smiley face is simply moot!
In conclusion, easy with e-motions :-)
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
My Blog is Not Dead, Just Napping!
A note to my readers! Sorry I've been MIA, but I promise to get back on the ball this week! Work has been kicking my ass, but I'm not letting my blog die. I swear I will be back on my crazy rant tomorrow! Thanks all!
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Reality TV, the New Trashy Talk Show?
It occurred to me that while the Rickie Lakes and Sally Jesses of
the world have slipped into cancellations without much notice, we
now have reality TV taking over. Let me be the first to say,
I'm not a fan! It seems like history is rapidly repeating itself, at
least in the terms of television. The price that people will pay to
get themselves on TV is far to high. Additionally, the price that
some (not all) producers will pay to gain and or maintain ratings
is also insanely high.
The case that always comes to mind is the murder of Scott Amedure.
Scott Amedure was a gay talk show panelist on the Jenny Jone's Show.
The episode was on revealing secret crushes. Amedure was coaxed into
revealing his homosexual crush on Jonathan Schmitz (a straight,
homophobe from MI). There was a great HBO America Undercover
special done on the impact of this murder. It was "Talked to Death:
America Undercover." I think they adequately addressed the
responsibility of Jenny Jones and her show in this case. Undercover
examined Schmitz behavior when he was probed by Jones after
Amedure reveled his crush in addition to describing
an intimate fantasy of the two men.
Schmitz, turned several different shades of red, covered his face with
his hands, nervously rocked back and forth and let lose a pretty pathetic
and forced laugh. None of these things suggest the Schmitz was
comfortable with the scenario. Jones, continued to milk the situation
asking more detailed questions. Schmitz's blood continued to boil,
literally. Not long after the show Schmitz took a shot gun and
vested Amedure. This time there were no cameras, and no
Jenny. Schmitz fired several shots into Amedure's back, "canceling" his life.
Months later during the trial, one of Jenny Jone's production
assistants (PA) took the stand. This PA is the one who had
screened both Amedure and Schmitz in booking their appearance
on the show. When examined the PA stated, "I told Schmitz the
person who had a crush on him was not a man." The PA later
stated that they did request a physiological profile, but it came
up clean. I personally nearly worked for this show. On my
interview they told me my functions would include driving around
the obese babies in the Jenny Jones van as well as staying
in the green room during tapings. "Because you see, none of
this is staged. You have to be ready to get these people back
on the set, no matter what." That always stuck with me.
I'm not a trained psychologist, or any kind of medical professional
for that matter. I really don't want to be responsible for someone
going home and shooting their secret crush. Keep in mind, this
interview was several years post Schmitz trial. Several months later,
the show was canceled, by Jenny Jones. Other shows slipped off the
radar with a peep, following in the steps of the Jenny Jones show.
Even Springer soon left the airwaves!
Now here we are, reality TV is taking the place of trashy talk shows.
I'm finding there are a lot of similarities! People are willing to exploit
themselves as well as each other. While we do have some powerful
and important reality TV shows like "Perverted Justice." It doesn't
make this kind of programming a safe place. For those unfamiliar
with the show, perverted justice is a show which catches sexual
predators by luring them to a home and having a talk show host
appear as opposed to the child who baited the predator. I kid you
not, it is only a matter of time before this host gets hurt. You have
some angry, embarrassed, sick freaks showing up. This is a great
project for catching pedophiles, but I can also see this turning ugly.
It's kind of sad, I don't know where programming is going. Sitcoms
are long dead, but there has to be something better then reality
TV out there.
On a personal note, I ended up not working for the Jenny Jones show
(since she canceled) and clearly it was for the best! I can rest my head
at night. I just have to ask, is this really what people want to watch?
the world have slipped into cancellations without much notice, we
now have reality TV taking over. Let me be the first to say,
I'm not a fan! It seems like history is rapidly repeating itself, at
least in the terms of television. The price that people will pay to
get themselves on TV is far to high. Additionally, the price that
some (not all) producers will pay to gain and or maintain ratings
is also insanely high.
The case that always comes to mind is the murder of Scott Amedure.
Scott Amedure was a gay talk show panelist on the Jenny Jone's Show.
The episode was on revealing secret crushes. Amedure was coaxed into
revealing his homosexual crush on Jonathan Schmitz (a straight,
homophobe from MI). There was a great HBO America Undercover
special done on the impact of this murder. It was "Talked to Death:
America Undercover." I think they adequately addressed the
responsibility of Jenny Jones and her show in this case. Undercover
examined Schmitz behavior when he was probed by Jones after
Amedure reveled his crush in addition to describing
an intimate fantasy of the two men.
Schmitz, turned several different shades of red, covered his face with
his hands, nervously rocked back and forth and let lose a pretty pathetic
and forced laugh. None of these things suggest the Schmitz was
comfortable with the scenario. Jones, continued to milk the situation
asking more detailed questions. Schmitz's blood continued to boil,
literally. Not long after the show Schmitz took a shot gun and
vested Amedure. This time there were no cameras, and no
Jenny. Schmitz fired several shots into Amedure's back, "canceling" his life.
Months later during the trial, one of Jenny Jone's production
assistants (PA) took the stand. This PA is the one who had
screened both Amedure and Schmitz in booking their appearance
on the show. When examined the PA stated, "I told Schmitz the
person who had a crush on him was not a man." The PA later
stated that they did request a physiological profile, but it came
up clean. I personally nearly worked for this show. On my
interview they told me my functions would include driving around
the obese babies in the Jenny Jones van as well as staying
in the green room during tapings. "Because you see, none of
this is staged. You have to be ready to get these people back
on the set, no matter what." That always stuck with me.
I'm not a trained psychologist, or any kind of medical professional
for that matter. I really don't want to be responsible for someone
going home and shooting their secret crush. Keep in mind, this
interview was several years post Schmitz trial. Several months later,
the show was canceled, by Jenny Jones. Other shows slipped off the
radar with a peep, following in the steps of the Jenny Jones show.
Even Springer soon left the airwaves!
Now here we are, reality TV is taking the place of trashy talk shows.
I'm finding there are a lot of similarities! People are willing to exploit
themselves as well as each other. While we do have some powerful
and important reality TV shows like "Perverted Justice." It doesn't
make this kind of programming a safe place. For those unfamiliar
with the show, perverted justice is a show which catches sexual
predators by luring them to a home and having a talk show host
appear as opposed to the child who baited the predator. I kid you
not, it is only a matter of time before this host gets hurt. You have
some angry, embarrassed, sick freaks showing up. This is a great
project for catching pedophiles, but I can also see this turning ugly.
It's kind of sad, I don't know where programming is going. Sitcoms
are long dead, but there has to be something better then reality
TV out there.
On a personal note, I ended up not working for the Jenny Jones show
(since she canceled) and clearly it was for the best! I can rest my head
at night. I just have to ask, is this really what people want to watch?
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