Apartment from Hell & Where I've Been

I'm really angry at myself for not continuing to write.
Unfortunately, a lot of stuff got in the way. I'm now working
on my second move in three months (I think that's a record).
When I learned my landlord would be selling my apartment
in August, I dropped everything to search for an apartment.
I thought I was going to have to move back to Philly for a
moment. It was really rough, I would go to check out places
before work, at lunch, and after work and I still couldn't find
something. It seemed like anytime I got to an apartment
someone had just taken the place or the line to view the
apartment was literally around the building. I finally found
something cute, I move in and realized I was wrong. I've spent
an insane amount of money and time, filling holes in the walls,
insulating, spraying, spackling...You name it! Aside from
whatever it is that lives in my walls and has literally been
waking me up at night by scratching or gnawing at the wood
boards, I found some roaches in my coffee cup and coffee
maker a few weeks ago. Well, now I know why my coffee
tasted so funky! More over I think the mice took off with my
remote, because I haven't seen it in a few weeks! Oh and did
I mention the building is over 100 years old and there is this
creepy skylight in my bathroom ceiling that mold has been
falling from? Lovely I know. Now that I moving into a nice
normal (fingers crossed) place I will get back into the blogging
world. Thanks to those of you still checking in on me!

The Father of Anti-Semitism

Hate breeds hate. No if and or buts about it. Intolerance is
a major issue in America. If we all looked, acted and thought
the same, things would be pretty damn stale. Mel Gibson's
recent comments are a testament to hate breeding hate.
Though the actor was drunk, I hardly find his statements
excusable. To many, alcohol is a truth serum. Gibson's father
(Hutton Gibson) has a long standing hate hate relationships with
the Jewish community.

Some of his comments (regarding the Holocaust) include:

"It's all -- maybe not all fiction -- but most of it is," he continued
to say that the gas chambers and crematoria at camps like
Auschwitz would not have been capable of exterminating so
many people."

"Do you know what it takes to get rid of a dead body? To cremate it?"
It takes a liter of petrol and 20 minutes. Now, six million of them?
They (the Germans) did not have the gas to do it. That's why they
lost the war."


In response to those comments, which can be found on
the age.com.au, I just have one question. Are you F***ing
kidding me? I'm kind of curious as to Hutton would know
how long it takes to burn a human body. Furthermore,
I didn't think there was an exact time frame for burning a
body. Wouldn't depend on size and weight? Wouldn't a small
fire generates less heat and burn slower than a large fire.
So wouldn't the momentum of a large fire be enough to
exterminate a large amount of people in a small amount
of time? It's always amazing to me that people can deny
such crimes against humanity. Six million is a large number,
don't you think people would notice if they just relocated?
It's been my feeling that the kind of people that make
such remarks the ones with guilty consciences who
would like to forget they had anything to do with it.
There is a word for that, DENIAL. It ain't just a river
in Egypt buddy!

(Below is another comment of Hutton's)
"They claimed that there were 6.2 million in Poland before
the war, and they claimed after the war there were 200,000 -
therefore he must have killed 6 million of them, They simply got
up and left! They were all over the Bronx and Brooklyn and Sydney,
Australia, and Los Angeles."

He continued to put prominent Jews on full blast and continued
to suggest that their goal was to "Take over the world."
I think someone has been watching to much "Pinky and the Brain."
That doesn't even make sense!

Jews were forced to go into particular professions because nice
men like Hutton here, wouldn't allow them to assimilate into
main stream professions. Jews make up 2% of the population.
So clearly this is a minority on the rise! What a freaking idiot!
It's men like Hutton that make wars, denying anyone different
the right to exist. Gibson has never once denounced his father's
views. While some of us have a back bone and may think
differently from our parents, clearly NOT in the case!

Hutton continues:
"Greenspan tells us what to do. Someone should take him out
and hang him." It's been suggested that Gibson's portrayal of
the Jew's role in "The Passions of the Christ" could stir anti-Semitic
sentiments. I cannot say one way or the other as I've never
seen the film and after his recent comments, I sure as hell not
going to now! Good freaking god, just because your father said
something doesn't make it right. It just seems pretty clear
to me that anti-Semitism was passed down in
this family. With any luck, Mel Gibson's children will have a
mind of their own.

Murder in West New York

I find it a little fucked up that the body of an 18-year-old girl was found
down the street (practically behind my friend Erin’s condo). I mean the
truth is this could have happened anywhere. The poor girl was in the
wrong place at the wrong time and was picked up by some sociopath
drifter on the west side highway. He took her back to a motel in
Weehawken and then thrown in the dumpster on the corner of
West Broadway and Park Ave. I know the building; I’ve walked
past it on many occasions. It’s just a shame that someone can dispose
of another human being like a piece of fucking trash!

I think that is the fascination with murders, they lake of compassion,
it’s criminal really. In some ways I think it’s easier to deal with a
murder rather then an accident. You have a direction in which you
can point your angry. While none of it every really makes sense, all of
these circumstances are tragic. With a murder you can put a face to your
pain. The very worst situations are the ones that are never solved.
Situations that always leave you wondering and asking questions
in the back of your mind. Personally, I don’t think I could ever handle
something like that.

Now in California we have William Richard Bradford. LAPD
cold case units are working around the clock to tie this monster to
(potentially) fifty missing women. That could make him one of, if not
thee, most notorious serial killers. Thankfully there have been such
strides in forensics, pathology and toxicology. Such incredible
progressions, that is nearly impossible to get away with such despicable
crimes. There will always be some microscopic shred of evidence that
links someone to a crime scene. Unfortunately, there will also be evidential
set-ups. Comes with the territory I suppose, the majority of people will not
be able to get a way with it in the future. Even when they think they have
cleaned everything up with bleach, there will always be luminal. Even
when they think their fingerprints are undetectable because they were
black gloves, there will be microscopic fiber comparisons. It is somewhat
comforting to know that while these people can still kill; the chances of
getting away with it are slim to none.

Writing exercise- Scene 1?

2:00 am in a cold sweat I woke up next to XXX. Though
I didn't open my eyes, I felt something running down both
sides of my face. With the back of my hand I brushed them away.
Rolling down my cheeks were two solid lines of tears.
Never before and never since have I ever actually woken
myself up from by crying in dead sleep.

I couldn't remember the dream, but the message was clear.
Something very bad was about to happen to someone I cared
very much about. It was like something knelt beside me while
I was sleeping and whispered this into my ear.
It was just so clear that I was looking upon something horrible
but I had no details…none. Because of the intensity of which I
awoke, I assumed it was my mother. I guess premonitions aren't
really spelled out for you, are they?

XXX grunted, as if to say, "What's your problem? Go back
to sleep." Though he annoyingly and unconsciously resisted,
I pried apart his arms and wrapped myself in them. I rested my
head on his chest, tears still falling. His shirt must be soaked by
the time I actually fell back asleep. It was better that way anyhow.
I wouldn't know what to say to him, or how to explain why I woke us
both up crying. I know him; he would have told me I was overreacting.
The next morning when we were both awake I would explain.

Introducing the "Himbo" (Male Bimbo)

This is a word coined by dictionary.com. Definition- "A male
bimbo, who uses his good looks but is superficial and unintelligent."
I was the gym this morning watching the Today's Show, as is my
normal morning routine, and this perfect segment came on.
I was talking to a few friends about how independent women
have it harder then stupid bimbos. I guess it's true what they
say, ignorance is bliss. None the less a friend of mine was insisting
that he is far more interested in women who have something to say,
how are independent and don't put up with nonsense. Especially
from men. His point was that if he ever had a daughter, she would
be inclined to emulate her mother's behavior. He really wanted his
daughter to be a strong person. Bravo to you, you know who you are.
You are without the only person I've ever heard those words from!

Generally speaking I think that independent, successful women have
a tougher time. This himbo segment on TV reminded me of this.
They were saying the new trend is for successful women to sport
some eye candy on their arms. That is kind of sad, no? Of course
the most famous himbo sited was K-Fed. Per the dictionary.com
definition, is he a really a himbo? According to that definition, a
himbo is someone who uses his "good looks." He is the greasiest,
most transparent, not talent bum ever...he ain't hot!

I think intelligence is one of the sexiest qualities a guy can have.
Next to humor and kindness of course. I've gone out on a few dates
with some really air headed men and it ended up being an early night!
I suppose that is why I dig guys with glasses, there is always that
sense of intelligence, I realize it's a little vain. Doesn't someone's
personality make or break them? Maybe I'm being ridiculous and
idealistic, but if someone is really that dumb, no way I'm going
to be in to it.

While it's debatable whether or not this guy was an idiot or just a
jerk...I didn't realize we were on a date. In fact (this before I got
my present gig) it was supposed to be an informational interview.
Well this Bloomberg TV anchor clearly had the wrong idea.
After trying to impress me by telling me all about his used Saturn,
he grabbed my hand and told me if I wanted to get anywhere in
this business I would need to learn how to flirt more.

• Firstly, I' am a flirt...don't need much help there!
• Secondly, I prefer to get a job because of my resume
• and intelligence/ability, not because I flirted with
• some anchor who seems very impressed with himself
• and his used Saturn.
• Thirdly, ewwww.

He proceeded to swing me around in my chair and tell me I
needed to "fix my body language when I was talking to him."
That would be about the time I excused myself to go to the
bathroom and DID NOT COME BACK! HAH!

What I'm trying to say is, how could anyone date/be interested
in a moron or someone with a such a craptastic personality.
If it's just sex, well that is something that can always be improved.
Unfortunately, in terms of personality...you are who you are. So
for any himbo's reading my blog-If you can both read and comprehend
this post, I'm impressed. Now take a hike!

Myspace In Court...Again

A 14 year old girl in Austin Texas filed a 30 million dollar law
suite against myspace this morning. The girl was sexually
assaulted by a nineteen year old male she met via myspace.
This suite is one of a dozen to recently speak out against the site
in recent weeks. There are tons of copy cat networks like
myspace, but for some reason they haven't taken off to the
same degree. While I find myself often on the site, mostly to
check email and post a blog, I do go on it.

Personally, I find the novelty wearing off. I really don't think
I want to know THAT much about anyone! It also make the
dating world kind of tricky and unappealing, at least for me!
Getting back on track here, I agree that the site doesn't take
privacy and or security all that seriously. Actions speak louder
then words. I don't see people getting kicked off the site for lewd
or abusive behavior. The argument here always seems to boil
down to parents vs. internet security. They are both at fault!
Yes you should know what the hell your kids are up to.
However, now more then ever it's really easy to hide stuff
online. Parents have to be smarter then their children but
myspace is not off the hook. If you are going to say you take
aggressive measures, well then you should put your money
where your mouth is.

I've had a number of articles forwarded to me regarding various
effects of myspace. There have been a tremendous amount of
sexual assaults on minors. There have been a handful of murders.
There have been rumors of terrorists networks infiltrating the
site to gain information. There have been identity thieves.
One of the interesting lesser discussed side effects of myspace
and the internet in general has actually been sexual dysfunction.
A friend sent me an interesting article about the conditioning of
men (mostly) who use the internet. Is it really a shock that we
are keeping Perverted Justice so busy when we seem to be feeding
the flame? Myspace seems to have created a climate where it's
okay for 16 year old girls to get naked and speak to 30 year old guys.
Gee, I wonder why there seems to be a problem. All parties are at
fault. I still stick by my theory that for those who use the internet
wisely, enjoy the network while you can. It's on it's way out!

Yikes Britney

Pretty much every gossip column is now reporting that
Britney Spears's Dateline NBC Interview with Matt Lauer
was conducted without a publicist and a hair/make-up person.
Yikes! I didn't have the opportunity to see the entire thing,
however in an effort to minimize any further self destruction
Spear's publicist asked that footage of her less then flattering
interview not be released to programs such as "E!".

What I did gather is that an emotionally distraught Spears was
pleading for privacy. On one hand, I feel bad for her. I feel
really bad for her children! On the other hand, it's always a
compromise. What did you thing would happen when you became
an international pop sensation super star? I don't want to harp on
Britney's appearance, as women are all to frequently criticized for
this (I'm guilty of this myself), however I think it was an
unprofessional decision. While it did a certain sincerity to the piece,
was it really a great idea? It takes a village to maintain a high
profile for a celebrity. That is why you have a publicist and
make-up/hair artists at your beck and call.

It's really all a business. For some people like Paris Hilton
disgrace and shame can be worked into a public persona, but it's
not something that everyone can do. In fact it's pretty much a
pneumonia onto Paris Hilton herself. Hey, she works it, so whatever.
Spears on the other hand needs a little help. Then again,
(from what I saw) Spears looked so pathetic and victimized, will
this work to her benefit? You know what they say, any publicity is
good publicity. I guess we will just have to see how this unravels.

:-) The Great Equalizer

In a conversation with a friend the other night it occurred
to me that in the world of email and internet, the smiley face
is the great equalizer. It can make any sentence, phrase
or comment totally ambiguous. As if it was not hard enough
to read inflection in words you never hear spoken, now
we have the smiley face...There is the condescending smiley
face, the flirtatious smiley face, the friendly smiley face and
my favorite the WTF smiley face!

I personally don't use the smiley face in a conducing way :-)
I have friends who analyze the smiley face in emails and ask
"Well what do you think it means, she littered this email with
smile faces, she must like me right?" Or better yet
"What does this comment mean? It's pretty mean but
then she left a smiley face at the end." You can confuse the hell
out of anyone with a smiley face!

Example; You are a big fat jerk :-) . It's okay that
I called you a big fat jerk because the smiley face erases any kind
of harshness. Anything before the smiley face is simply moot!
In conclusion, easy with e-motions :-)

My Blog is Not Dead, Just Napping!

A note to my readers! Sorry I've been MIA, but I promise to get back on the ball this week! Work has been kicking my ass, but I'm not letting my blog die. I swear I will be back on my crazy rant tomorrow! Thanks all!

Reality TV, the New Trashy Talk Show?

It occurred to me that while the Rickie Lakes and Sally Jesses of
the world have slipped into cancellations without much notice, we
now have reality TV taking over. Let me be the first to say,
I'm not a fan! It seems like history is rapidly repeating itself, at
least in the terms of television. The price that people will pay to
get themselves on TV is far to high. Additionally, the price that
some (not all) producers will pay to gain and or maintain ratings
is also insanely high.

The case that always comes to mind is the murder of Scott Amedure.
Scott Amedure was a gay talk show panelist on the Jenny Jone's Show.
The episode was on revealing secret crushes. Amedure was coaxed into
revealing his homosexual crush on Jonathan Schmitz (a straight,
homophobe from MI). There was a great HBO America Undercover
special done on the impact of this murder. It was "Talked to Death:
America Undercover." I think they adequately addressed the
responsibility of Jenny Jones and her show in this case. Undercover
examined Schmitz behavior when he was probed by Jones after
Amedure reveled his crush in addition to describing
an intimate fantasy of the two men.

Schmitz, turned several different shades of red, covered his face with
his hands, nervously rocked back and forth and let lose a pretty pathetic
and forced laugh. None of these things suggest the Schmitz was
comfortable with the scenario. Jones, continued to milk the situation
asking more detailed questions. Schmitz's blood continued to boil,
literally. Not long after the show Schmitz took a shot gun and
vested Amedure. This time there were no cameras, and no
Jenny. Schmitz fired several shots into Amedure's back, "canceling" his life.

Months later during the trial, one of Jenny Jone's production
assistants (PA) took the stand. This PA is the one who had
screened both Amedure and Schmitz in booking their appearance
on the show. When examined the PA stated, "I told Schmitz the
person who had a crush on him was not a man." The PA later
stated that they did request a physiological profile, but it came
up clean. I personally nearly worked for this show. On my
interview they told me my functions would include driving around
the obese babies in the Jenny Jones van as well as staying
in the green room during tapings. "Because you see, none of
this is staged. You have to be ready to get these people back
on the set, no matter what." That always stuck with me.
I'm not a trained psychologist, or any kind of medical professional
for that matter. I really don't want to be responsible for someone
going home and shooting their secret crush. Keep in mind, this
interview was several years post Schmitz trial. Several months later,
the show was canceled, by Jenny Jones. Other shows slipped off the
radar with a peep, following in the steps of the Jenny Jones show.
Even Springer soon left the airwaves!

Now here we are, reality TV is taking the place of trashy talk shows.
I'm finding there are a lot of similarities! People are willing to exploit
themselves as well as each other. While we do have some powerful
and important reality TV shows like "Perverted Justice." It doesn't
make this kind of programming a safe place. For those unfamiliar
with the show, perverted justice is a show which catches sexual
predators by luring them to a home and having a talk show host
appear as opposed to the child who baited the predator. I kid you
not, it is only a matter of time before this host gets hurt. You have
some angry, embarrassed, sick freaks showing up. This is a great
project for catching pedophiles, but I can also see this turning ugly.
It's kind of sad, I don't know where programming is going. Sitcoms
are long dead, but there has to be something better then reality
TV out there.

On a personal note, I ended up not working for the Jenny Jones show
(since she canceled) and clearly it was for the best! I can rest my head
at night. I just have to ask, is this really what people want to watch?

Big Trouble, Little Howard!

A Philadelphia man (referred to only as Howard) returned home
from Einstein Hospital yesterday where his "reattachment" surgery
was declared a success. Apparently Howard's wife felt it necessary
to attack him in his sleep. In true Bobbitt fashion and she tore 2
particular appendages off of his body with her bare hands! Albeit,
I'm female and still cringing at the very thought of this! Howard's wife
Monica was working under the notion that her husband of 11
years had been cheating on her.

In a word...YIKES! It's just evidence that domestic abuse
happens on both ends! Howard claims that while his wife
suffers from Bi Polar disorder she will not be sleeping under
his roof again! Neighbor's of the couple are skeptical. Even
though the degree of violence adds a new dimension to the
turbulent relationship, their roller coaster marriage is hardly
breaking news. Neighbors also claim that Monica has been
thrown out on many occasions, only to come home this address.

Crimes of passion are scary things! I tend to forget that even
though we have the capacity to think and communicate unlike
any other species on the planet, we are still animals. I'm not
excusing this kind of behavior in way, shape or form. In fact that
kind of violence really freaks me out. It's just a shame. On the plus
side, I don't think he will be able to procreate, at least not with MONICA!

Fame, a Social Disease?

In an interview several years ago I heard Harrison Ford describe
fame as a social disease. I think this is a really interesting debate.
I have a lot of friends in their 30s + who are still looking to break
into the world of Hollywood. Half the time, I wonder if people are
really aware of what they are asking for. There are a million and
one reasons why someone would want fame, money and power.
However, there are a few things that even money/fame/power
cannot buy you!

I've had the opportunity to meet some celebrities and visit shoots
and various sets and I'm not sure I would really want that kind of
lifestyle. I'm a private person, I would feel very awkward standing
all glammed up at an event, with no one but my manager, speaking
to people and shaking hands. Last large scale event I went to I saw
the way lines formed to take pictures with these stars and I felt bad
for them. It seemed like we were in Disney World and everyone
was running up to take a picture with Mickey Mouse and Goofy, only
they weren't wearing costumes and Epcote center was not in the
background. It's such an impersonal, invasive lifestyle.

The larger the star, the less privacy they get. I understand it is a
choice that these people make. I wonder if they really understand
what they are giving up before hand. You can't put a price on
privacy and anonymity. Especially when you have a family.
Personally, while I'm not particularly impressed with the way
Jennifer Anniston publicly dealt with her separation to Brad Pitt,
I'm not sure I could or would have handled it any better. My
question is, do you really think it's worth it? All very harsh criticism, competitiveness, invasiveness and lack of privacy; just to get yourself
in a movie or on a magazine cover?

Someone Upstairs Officially Hates Me!!!

I was literally telling a friend at her New Years party, "I hope
that tapered pants never come back! If you are going to bring
something back from the 80's please make it the music." So here
we are, a matter of months later and what seems to be back in
style? "Skinny jeans," aka peg leg or tapered jeans. Why God,
WHY???? This was never a good look! Trust me it is not flattering
to anyone! Even emaciated models look bad in these! What the hell
posses people to revive these damn pants? Seriously, when
did dressing like a pirate (peg leg) become hip? Please let me
know when sporting a fake metal hook arm becomes the rage!
I wonder if people will be walking around with pirates on their
shoulders as opposed to those little Tinker-Bell-ish designer dogs.

The eighties were a time of Ragenism, of polo shirts, of mullets,
teased hair(bangs), and of great music. Influential bands like The
Cure, The Smiths, Squeeze and Psychedelic Furs took the stage. It
was indeed a great decade for the tunes. Fashion, well... That's another
story. Let's just say the 80's were not the epitome of glamour
(ahem Cyndi Lauper). To fashion gurus every where if you are
planning to resuscitate and or encourage any more 80's fashions,
please let me know so I can buy stock in Aquinet!

I would officially like to go one record as saying-The moment I
see but one pair of Cavariccis, I'm moving!!

Actions Speak Louder then Words, Are we Really Helping Darfur?

While Bush and Bolton continue to circulate draft resolutions
within the UN, thousands are driven from their homes, raped,
beaten and killed. Bush apparently asked Congress to approve
an additional $225.00 million dollars in aid. At this rate, by the
time it is approved the Janjaweed will have succeeded in destroying
every African-Muslim, man, woman and child. It's a relief that
attention is being brought to the situation but don't rest yet!
The war is far from over.

Bush also pledged to be sending two emergency shipments of food
for the refugees now fleeing Darfur. I understand that in the plight
many of them are running on empty, literally. Many don't have food,
but that somehow seems more attainable then protection. They need
protection and we are not acting fast enough! Can you imagine some
little kid over there, waiting for American Soldiers to swoop in and
save them at the last minute. Well kid, you better pray for a freaking
miracle, sorry but there will be no mercy for you. We are already to
late. We are sending food and not soldiers to supply protection.
Are we expecting the Sudanese refugees to defend themselves
from rebels with a loaf of bread? WTF? I don't understand the hold up.

Where the hell is the disconnect? When there are crimes against
humanity taking place you don't put it to a vote, you help.
I guess the Sudan has now learned what other countries know all
to well. Don't ever rely on someone else to save you. There is no
man in uniform coming to rescue you...save yourself. I will believe
we are helping these people when we stop procrastinating
and F***ing help them. We are already to late to save many, will we
be to late to save any?

Thanks for $100.00..."Dr." Frist!

I have to admit, the rising price of gas makes me damn glad I sold my car
when I moved to NYC. Unfortunately, that doesn't make me immune to
the insanely high price of gas! While I use public transportation, the cost
of my monthly pass will soon be going up to prevent the MTA and NJTransit
from going under. Price of groceries and of general consumer goods will
also be skyrocketing to keep respective producers a float.

Well it looks like a major class divide is up ahead. Pretty soon extreme
commuters won't be able to afford getting to work and the average
commuter will have to reduce spending in other areas. This is so ridiculous!
It costs about $75.00 to now fill up a minivan and about $50.00 for your
typical SUV.

So what's the solution? Here are a few of the brilliant suggestions the
current administration has made!


Ask the EPA to lift bans

You know this is my favorite course of action because; we don't need
the polar ice caps anyway. I mean, what are they really good for?
What is so bad about adding a few extra feet to the current sea level?
Protecting animal species and the environment is stupid anyway!
Greenhouse effect please ain't no such thing! Global warming?
What a joke! (Note sarcasm)

Make public Bill Frist's brilliant idea of refunding all tax payers $100.00

I make no secret of the fact that I cannot stand Republican Majority Leader “Dr.” Bill Frist. I think he is a heartless, moronic, puppet. In fact I believe he is the reason that malpractice is sky high! His suggestion of refunding all tax payers $100.00 is insulting. Does he realize that not only will that fill up ONE tank's worth of gas? So basically he wants to issue refunds that will essentially be going straight back into the pockets of the oil companies?! What the hell is that? What a brilliant freaking suggestion. So is that supposed to increase morale? Brilliant, getting a refund which is then spent on oil (in some capacity) really makes me feel like I'm getting ahead financially! Please! Unless it's a monthly refund, how does this help at all?

In writing this I think I figured out the solution to the entire economic deficit we are all now facing. I think the government should setup a big top on the white house lawn and charge people according to the following menu:

Pay to Punch (above the belt) /Pay to punch (below the belt)
Bush: 100.00 /200.00
Cheney: 75.00 /150.00
Rumsfeld: 75.00/150.00
Rice: 50.00 /100.00

I think that will fix everything!

Python Nation

The Florida Everglades have long since been home to the American
Crocodile as well as various other kinds of reptiles. Recently FL
residents have been upsetting the fragile balance of the everglades
ecosystem, by releasing their pet pythons into the marshes.
The popular Burmese Pythons have become a popular pet in the
state of Florida. However, they grow pretty damn fast and many
owners are not able to deal with the reasonability that comes with
owning a 13 foot slithering, eating machine! Not only is it expensive
to feed such a creature, it's expensive to house! These snakes have
begun to really shake up the ecological balance of the FL everglades.
They have become so large that they are toping the food chain.
A very odd turn in the wild kingdom.

Below is a picture of a python which exploded after trying to ingest
an alligator! How strange is it to witness ecological turn like this?
Not hard to understand how some animals, once predators become prey!

Bye Bye Big Screen

"Christ!" Great, the guy next to me just spilled his nachos
all over my pants. To boot I just stepped in something thick
and sticky. My drink holder is cracked and about to let lose
my eight-dollar bottle of Poland Springs. Not to mention the
annoying teenagers sitting behind me who can't seem to
shut up about Jessica Alba's hair! I use to enjoy the coming
attractions but now I have the fifteen-minute pre commercial
commercials. What the hell?!? This is what I'm paying (now ten dollars) for?

I've always had a love affair with the big screen. The box at
home is okay, but there is nothing like the actual big screen
experience. It's true that home entertainment systems have made
significant strides in surround sound and HD but still, it's a
poor substitute for the real thing...or is it?

Yes, I have to sit next to some guy coughing and hacking his
lungs out. Yes, I stepped in some mysterious sludge which
I’m sure will follow me not only into my car but into my apartment
where I will have to mop the floor…again. It’s expensive, it’s crowded
and its kind of gross, yet there is nothing else like it.

With new formats like pay-per-view, direct TV and on demand
lots of films are already being released directly to television.
From what I’ve read in the trades Disney is the hand holding the
smoking gun. It is ABC (which owns Disney), which is seeking to
promote this new skip-the-theater-all-together kind of innovation.

While I really won’t miss seating on broken seats, or paying ten
bucks for a sub par flick, but the experience won’t ever be the same
sitting in your living room. The big screen is what makes movie star and
celebrities. When you see someone on the movie screen scale they
literally become bigger then life. When you take the stars of the
screen and put them in the box, they become normal people.
They are just like you local news anchor. Somehow in the transition
from big screen to small screen the glamour is lost. Maybe that is not such a bad
thing. Personally, I would miss the big screen.

Blurring the lines between Church and State

Okay, what the hell is going on here? I’m hardly the most religious person, but I’m feeling pretty violated lately. It really seems like the line between church and state is being seriously smudged these days.

I understand that the Bush Administration has recently issued executive orders to begin funding faith-based programs. In past administrations, such a thing would have been unheard of. I’d like to take this opportunity to again mention we do not all subscribe to the same religion! How many times do we have to argue prayer in school?!? Come on! I’m furious with this.

Instead of myspace.com we now have http://www.mypraise.com/. For the love of god! We have a ton of movies with Christian themes, Christian rock seems to be making a comeback and thanks good’ol Bush we have all of these federally funded Christian Organizations. Oh yeah and let’s not forget the revival of the age-old debate of school prayer.

What the hell is this? Who would have thought that one administration could do so much damage to a country in less then two terms. One of the reasons people swam oceans and risked their lives to get her was because we advertised as this beckon of freedom. Oh well! I’m so sick of this. WE ARE NOT ALL CHRISTIANS and we have as much right to worship as you do. So get over it! If you are in reality not the majority in this country and you are receiving federal funding then shouldn’t ALL faith-based groups have equal opportunities?

MySpace is Your Space

By now it’s no secret that schools, employers, parents and
authorities alike peruse the site. I still cannot understand
why the hell some people post pictures or blogs knowing full
well anyone could potentially find it. I said it once and I’ll say
it again, IT IS PUBLIC! Meaning, if you post a picture of yourself
drinking a beer or smoking a bong and your only 14 year old, you can
get nabbed for underage drinking. If you tag a wall and take pictures
of it, you could be nailed for vandalism. While I don’t believe in
censorship, in fact I think a strong adverse reaction is nearly
guaranteed, I think people need to exercise better judgment.

There have been numerous sexual attacks and murders
steaming from the social network. In many cases while
Myspace claims to be on the look out for pornography,
profanity and other such inappropriate things on profiles
(especially those of miners), I personally have yet to see it.
Frankly, it’s really annoying. I swear the majority of people
are naked, okay at least half naked! You might as well just google
some porn, be forewarned that google may cough up your name
to the feds though!

Isn’t anyone interested in having privacy anymore? In actuality
I don’t want to see pictures of the guy I broke up with or my
ex-roommate’s inferred porno tape. Have we all gotten that
freaking trashy? I find myself less and less interested in this
site and more interested in going out and having a life! It’s a
great tool for staying in touch with friends. For those who
can’t seem to keep it in their pants, you’re annoying the hell
out of the rest of us. Some people may have actually used this
as a social networking site and not a free personal ad space!

From what I’ve been hearing the site stands a good chance of
being shut down for not enforcing their censorship procedures.
It has also been reported that terrorist groups like Al Qaeda are
using the site for information. I’m not sure if I believe that or not.
Either way, privacy and freedom of speech are about to change.

"Just One More Step"

Sunday night I had the privilege of hearing Aron Ralston
speak on behalf of my cousin's foundation (for information
on Katie's foundation go to www.KateSvitekMemorial.org).
Wow, what an amazing guy! It was really a pleasure to listen
to him retell his story. I had a brief opportunity to speak with
him and aside from being adorable I was taken a back by his
charisma. I strongly encourage you to pick up his book
"Between a Rock and a Hard Place."

His Story

In short, Aron (then 27 years old) set off on a solo mountaineering
expedition in a remote part of Utah. With only several liters of
water and maybe a days a supply of food Aron set off on his adventure.
While repelling down the canyon Aron found himself atop an unstable
boulder which seconds later would be crushing his hand against the
canyon wall.

When the boulder came to rest Aron was trapped and unable to
free his hand. Five nights and six days later Aron was forced to
either amputate his hand or die their in the canyon. Astonishingly,
sleep deprived, starving, dehydrated Aron mustered enough
strength to perform the amputation. At death's doorstep Aron
managed to find a family who guided him to the search
parties that were literally just beginning to look for him.
Some how he managed. Truly it was a case of mind over matter.
The human spirit and the human mind are such incredible things.
By all medical accounts, Aron should have been dead.

Aron had brought his hand held digi (digital video camera) with him.
During his time in the canyon Aron had begin to record his last will a
nd testament. Leaving words for his family and friends to remember
him by. In doing so Aron said he recalled various memories of his
family and all of his friends. He also said in recording these memories
he found himself smiling a great deal and that was what sustained him.
The thought of his family and his friends. During his speech, I found
myself saying, "I couldn't agree more." I'm so lucky to have such an
amazing family and such incredible friends. I have not but one doubt
that the memory of my family and friends would have carried me through
such an event as well.

"Just One More Step"
Aron said, that he continued to mutter the words "Just one more step,"
after he freed himself and was bleeding, searching for help,
closing in on the end of his life. I again shuck my head in silent
agreement. I thought to myself that I've been in situations
when I've uttered those exact words, "one more step."
I really think that the human mind is so remarkable!
There are in fact those times when you put on blinders
and just say to yourself...don't think about it, just do it!
Later on when you arrive at point b (where ever that is)
you just say how the hell did I ever survive that?
How was I able to make it?

Tying it to Katie

After his experience Aron traded in his job as an engineer
to continue doing what he loved, climbing mountains.
Aron now works as part of a search and rescue team in Aspen.
He says after this situation he decided to focus on his
interpersonal relationships as they are what really saved
him in that Utah canyon. He continues to climb and has in
fact designed some of the prosthetic attachments which he
now uses to assist him in his expeditions.

Again when he spoke of following his dreams and investing in
his personal relationships, it resonated with me. I thought
of all you that I care so much for. I thought of Kate and how
she always followed her heart. Though we are all forever
traumatized by her loss, she followed her dreams until the
very end. How many people can you say that about?!
Kate had a love for nature and understanding of the outdoors.
Absolutely nothing got in that girls way! I really admire that.

Seeing the Beauty

Our neighbors have long since stopped coming to check
on me when they hear my screams. In all likelyhood they
know I just ran into another silverfish or water bug.
My roommate can attest to this as she has had to rescue
me on many occasions when the bottle of raid proved no match
for some spider. My step father has mentioned many times
that I have an unnatural bond with my hairdryer.
Somehow after seeing Aron's slides and looking at these
stunning canyons I can see how Katie would fall in love with nature.

Sometimes, I think my view of the world is somewhat
narrow. I have an amazing view of the entire Manhattan
Skyline (not from my apartment of course, but from the
corner of my street), looking at it at night, with all of the
lights is just beautiful. Being a city girl, I know more about grit
and broken sidewalks then I do about long stretches of desolate
desert. I know more about skyscrapers and architecture then
I do about the brilliant colors that exists in these far off places.

We start heading into southern Jersey or western Pennsylvania
and I start losing it because the houses are miles apart and the
grass is not only real, but it's green! If I had to close my eyes
and imagine some beautiful spot, it would be out west. It would
be some long stretch of desert where vibrant reds and oranges
drape a lonely landscape. It would be some place I've seen
in mind and some place I would have never expected myself
to admire the way I do. Isn't that strange?

Well, no One Ever Said I was Graceful!

Okay, so I’ve long since come to the realization that I’m far
more quirky then graceful. This week, I’ve managed to actually
get scolding coffee up my nose, broken my little toe (again) and
I’ve managed to get sick. This past weekend while trying to look
cute, I went to take a sip of my drink and yes…I got the straw up
my nose! It’s not the first time that has happened though.
At least I managed to narrowly escape being hit in the face by a pigeon,
which not be the first time that has happened either. I remember
when I was driving back to Boston (from Philadelphia) with my friend
Dave a bird committed suicide by flying into his windshield.

Do these things happen to anyone else or should I be walking
around with some kind of caution sign on my back? Before I write
anything of relevance I felt that I needed to get that off my chest,
so thanks for hearing me out. In the words of Elaine Benice
"All right, all right, look, I don't have grace, I don't want grace,
I don't even say grace, okay?”

What Would You Do?

I was watching the news this morning and there was actually a
lot that struck me today. However the most interesting segment
that I really wanted to draw some attention to was regarding
child abduction in broad day light.

The NBC Today Morning Show crew put the public to the test
by planting a child and assailant (both actors of course) in a
New York suburb. The child was screaming "Help Me...Someone
help me! You're not my Dad!" Apparently it took hours for
someone to actually approach the man and attempt to intervene.
People walked past the screaming child and gawked, but no
one said or did anything. Eventually, these two men approached
the assailant, but it would be hours before these proactive citizens
walked by.

I could see why someone might not approach the pair.
Some people might have been concerned for their own safety.
Personally, I might have thought it was a step father and step
daughter arguing. In cases of parents publicly disciplining their
child, while I might completely disagree I wouldn't intervene.
It's similar to when a woman was raped on the subway years
ago and while people witnessed it, no one said or did a thing.
I would like to believe I would at least call 9-1-1.
It's bizarre, the stuff that people are made of.
I would definitely be interested in reading
more studies regarding this subject, so if you know of any,
please drop me a line.

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Finally, Some Relief for Darfur

Looks like yesterday around 11:00 am, the questions of
contributing financial aid was voted on.
Thankfully the amendment passed...providing Darfur
with nearly 50 million dollars. Thank God!
While I'm somewhat relieved, I was very disappointed
to find out the amendment pass by 5 VOTES!

Please find the official voting results by clicking here.
I find it very disturbing that so many people
were willing to seal the fate of these people by not
contributing aid! It's humbling to know how
many independent organizations agreed with me and
contributed their own aid. Unbelievable!

I'm kind of torn, I'm so happy that something is finally
being done (without the help of the UN, which I feel is a
farce anyway). It's still very sad to know the margin
by which humanity prevailed.

*Thanks for the tip PHG!*

Holocaust Number 2!

Again, people are not paying attention to this. Genocide is
taking place in Darfur Sudan and has actually spread across
the border to Chad. The Janjaweed (Arab Muslim Militia) have
been brutally murdering African Muslims.

It's unclear if the Janjaweed are backed by the Sudanese
government. Really, does it matter who they are backed by?
This is the kind of war we should be fighting. The UN has been far
to slow resolving the matter. Every minute the United Nations
deliberates on how to approach the situation a daughter losses
her mother, a father losses his son. Shouldn't someone be putting
their money where their mouth is?

In many cases we are far to late. Women have been savagely
rapped and beaten, children have been tortured and murdered.
These are crimes against humanity and guess what, it's been going
on for two years already. The violence has just escalated.

We said after the Holocaust, we wouldn't wait to intervene in
these kinds of things again. Since that pledge, Guatemala,
Rwanda, Bosnia, Congo, and now the Sudan. Yup, we've done a
great job of living up to that promise. Instead of putting
the focus where it should be we've turned our back on people
who really need help, to direct our attention to Iraq and Iran.
Basically oil comes at more then the cost of the fluctuating
American dollar, it comes at the cost of life...all over the world.

Creating a Serial Killer

So I've been doing a lot of reading on this topic, especially
after the recent and tragic murder of Imette St. Guillen.
It is a morbid fascination I know. It's one that a lot of
people share with me though.

For a while profilers, pathologists and therapists
agreed that sociopathic behavior, commonly associated
with serial killer, was a biological and neurological disorder.
In other words it is more the result of nature as opposed to
nurture. Previously, the consensus had been the issue was
developmental upbringing. Making the behavior the product
of nurture rather then nature. The more I read, the more
I believe it's a combination.

Sociopath is defined as "Antisocial personality disorder
(APD) is a personality disorder which is often characterized
by antisocial and impulsive behavior. APD is generally
(if controversially) considered to be the same as, or similar
to, the disorder that was previously known as psychopathic or
sociopath personality disorder."

Being a disorder that could be classified as neurological,
there is some chemistry involved (at least I subscribe to
this as one of the catalysts in the make-up of a serial killer).
Neurology is pretty interesting stuff. Different parts of the brain
impact different behaviors. The parts of the brain I find most
fascinating (in reading about serial killers) are below

The limbic brain

More or less, the entire emotional wiring of an individual is
triggered in this part of the brain. This portion of the brain
controls Moods, feelings, and emotions such as: Hunger, thirst,
sleep, joy, happiness and sadness. It is located in the internal part
of the brain. It's other function is basically the middle man
(receiving and communicating sensory information) to and from
and the cerebral cortex. Another interesting fact is this part of
the brain that houses the the limbic system (the Hypothalamus)
is about the size of a dime and accounts for 1/3000 of the brains total weight.

The cerebral cortex, in short controls the bodies
physical actions and reactions.


The temporal lobe

This portion of the brain is responsible for processing and interpreting
auditory stimuli. It does play a strong role in emotional processing.
It is located close to the temple on either side of the head right above
the ears. Because it is not well protected, only a thin skin/skull protecting
it. Hence it is very vulnerable.

This all contributes to the genetic composition of a sociopath in
that in many cases as children these murders were abused as
children and or sustained some kind of head trauma. Abuse
contributes to the developmental composition of a
child on an emotional and physical level.

In doing some research the most logical equation seems to be one
I found in Court TV's Crime Library. Essentially there are the chemical
and developmental variables but additionally there are social
circumstances or situations which surly contribute. In other words
Chemistry (nature) + Development (nurture) + various
social factors = One scary person (with a higher threshold for pain).
I'll have to do more on this topic later, but
I thought it was pretty interesting.

Stop Stalking Me!

The internet is getting kind of scary all together.
This morning a co-worker of mine informed me that you can
actually check to see when, where and for how long someone
checked your email message for. That is a little much. I don't
think I even want to know! This site is http://www.didtheyreadit.com/ is
encouraging this bizarre stalker culture. How accurate can that
be anyway? I leave my gmail open all day! Somedays my responses
are faster then others because I don't have a ton of work.

If you used this stupid thing, you would think I was looking
at your email all day. Wow, we must be the most distrustful nation
ever. If someone says they didn't get my email, or they accidentally
deleted it or whatever, I will take their word for it. Why is it necessary to
know all this? Doesn't anyone have a life anymore? This is becoming so
frightfully unhealthy.

Where is the privacy? My co-worker also introduced me to the website www.reunitetonight.com. In fooling around with the site, while getting
some work done this morning, I was pleased to find that the information
provided was totally inaccurate. This particular site provides
unlisted home address, phone numbers and email for free.
If the number is unlisted wouldn't you think there is a reason?
I 'm really developing a love hate relationship with the net these days.
Not only is this all very disrespectful of personal privacy, but
think of the individual security breeches. Christ, does everyone
need to have all this information about me?

NewFane, VT Files Articles for Impeachment

Impeachment is the word in NewFane Vermont.
Reportedly, yesterday Bernie Sanders (House, Independent Rep.)
began to file articles of impeachment against Bush.

Citing that he mislead the country into war against Iraq
in addition to participating in illegal spying. Sanders stated
"[Bush] has been a disaster for our country, and a number of actions
that he has taken may very well not have been legal."
Republican Jim Barnett (Chair of the Vermont Republican Party)
fired back, "We should not be impeaching presidents just
because we disagree with them."

Needless to say, Barnett goes on my list of ignorant,
dumbasses. Sorry Jim, maybe your friends and family
aren't in the military. Seriously, it's not that we disagree
with Bush...It's that he is flat out WRONG! Boys and girls
aren't just dying on our side, there are Iraqi casualties as well.
There is a lot of blood being shed and for what?
These people went over to fight because they
thought they were protecting us, they thought
there were WMDs. They thought wrong.
We all thought wrong. Because what you told us, was
WRONG! Why should they die in vain?

Frankly, I'm a little shocked by the Bush Administration.
I figured, even if there were no WMDs that we
would still find some WMDs (if you get my drift).
I think what VT is doing is great, however if you impeach Bush,
wouldn't that make Cheney first in command?

While things are pretty bad, putting Dick in
charge would make them worse. Wait, who' am I kidding?
He is already in charge. When you impeach a president
does the whole administration go with? I'm not 100% sure
but, I don't think that is the case. Lets make the world a
little safer and just impeach the entire administration!

Morning Rant-Can you Please Teach me how to be a Conservative?

Outside of Denver Colorado a public high school geography
teacher (Jay Bennish) sits at home on paid leave.
In a speech to the class Bennish compared Bush to Hitler.
It just makes me laugh. Bennish is far from the first
person to draw this comparison.

If you listen to the whole tape, Bennish sounds (at least to me),
to be playing devil's advocate. He was provoking class discussion.
DEAR GOD, NOT THAT! Is it seriously a crime to
encourage thought outside the box? If you listen to the
whole damn tape, Bennish's spiel was about encouraging
"More in depth thought."

In any event, 16 year old Sean Allen recorded the class
lecture. Allen's father took the recording and released
it to local radio stations, creating a bit of a stir. *Is that
even legal without the permission of Bennish? Isn't that
defamation of character?*

The public school then began to investigate Bennish
some what intensely and asked that he take a paid
leave of absence while they continue to probe.
The investigation revolves around whether Bennish
violated the schools policy of "presenting a balanced point of view."

Can you hear that? That is the sound of me falling out
of my chair, rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off!
It is such a contradiction. In playing the recording on the air
Allen's father failed to present both sides. Rather he failed to
"present a balanced point of view." Bennish cannot defend himself
if he isn't taking part in the interview and the entire tape is not
being played.

Furthermore, these parents never discussed the curriculum
with Bennish. They never raised the issue with the principal
or even the school board. Nope. Straight to the radio station they went.

I understand that a UCLA Alumnus group was actually offering
$100.00 per taped evidence of any professor's leftist rant.
Maybe I have watched Swing Kids to many times! Doesn't
this entire incident only support the media's interpretation of
Bennish's (tenuous) comparison between Bush and Hitler?

If you really want to punish the guy, don't send him on paid leave.
Send him hunting with Dick Cheney!! (No, that will never get old)

Maybe we Should Elect George Clooney in 2008!

So I'm a little annoyed this morning. No, not because Jake Gyllenghall
didn't receive an Oscar for his performance in Broke Back. No,
not because Jon Stewart has refused all my advances!
It is because the current political climate.

This is no bash against Hollywood. In fact I'm proud of Hollywood
lately. This year's nominations point to a new fade in the film
business, that seems to be art imitating life. As much as we
may want to ignore the injustice in the world, some how when
it's up on the big screen, it becomes harder to escape. Go figure!

In any event, I was reading the paper/watching meet the press
(yay for multitasking) on Sunday morning. Generals
and former Vice Presidential candidates argued over the right to
invade another country (for what is essentially a crude black
liquid running through the ground).

I continued reading about the ethnic cleansing going on in the Sudan.
Hundreds of African Muslim men, women and children are being
cleared of the Sudan by Arab Muslims. The Bush administration
acknowledges the genocide, which is taking place near a war which
we are currently a part of, but they do nothing. So I'm just
wondering when Don Cheadle will be staring in his next tear
jerker based on an event that would should and CAN still end.
Sure people will pay attention when HBO makes another
"Sometimes in April."

I'm just so sick of these roundabout answers from politicians.
Once I was done reading about the current atrocities, I returned to
listening to some General avoid the question of whether
or not we are winning the war in Iraq. Talk is cheap!
I'm firm believer in actions speaking louder then words.
Albeit, it would help if Bush could pronounce words correctly,
but I suppose that is neither here nor there. It drives me up
a wall when I hear politicians say well, we have an outline or a
"Plan" to start withdrawing troops from Iraq!

That's great, so let's hear it. I want to know the details! Shit,
you released all the other details of incidents and governments
workings, which essentially helped the enemy! So let's hear it.
I'm sure our enemy will be pleased to know we actually do plan
on evacuating the middle east! This goes back to what I've said before.
The administration is like that guy you date (I know I've dated him)
who makes public his intentions to screw all the women of
New York City and basically posts it on fifty foot high billboard.
Only, to ask you twenty four hours later how you figured out his
scheme. Uh, gee let me think! However, when it comes to
something that is some what inconsequential to the guys on
the other side, we (the American people) still can't get a
straight answer. Is it because we aren't entitled to one?
Or is it just simply the American people can't get a
straight detailed answer because there isn't one?

People are brutally being murdered and treated like
roaches, while we grill politicians for answers they refuse to give.
Why aren't we paying attention to what really matters?
For all those conservatives who are so concerned
with saving the unborn. Well here is a new fight for ya!
Save those who are born, who are young, who are old, who
are suffering and in pain. Save them! Or should we
just make this a job for George Clooney?

*Sorry folks, I realize I need to proof this, but I just wanted to
post before I lost my train of thought*

Walking Rage - Get the HELL Out of my Way!

Who are you kidding, you know you have it too!
I'll be the first to admit I have a problem. It's almost like
Jekyll and Hyde. Every day at approximately 5:30,
I turn into an angry speed walker! I'm walking from
East 45th to 8th and 42nd (Port Authority). So please,
get the hell out of my way!

Most of the time I'm rushing to get the bus home and
avoid sitting next to the rotund, smelly, lady who
takes up both her seat and mine. Who, for some
reason, insists on eating pistachios (constantly
elbowing me in the chest while cracking them open)
only to leave the shells all over the floor.

As fascinating as lightbulbs are, perhaps rush hour is
not the best time to take pictures of whatever. Is it to harsh to
suggest that there be some kind of curfew for tourists?

Maybe they should be allowed out between the
hours of 6 am-10 am and 4 pm to 7 pm. Or even
better, how about a tourist lane on the sidewalk,
so the rest of us doing the commuter strut can hustle
back to where ever we have to be, like an hour ago!

Bite Me!

So in catching up on the news this morning I came across a
really nasty story. Apparently in Westchester New York,
Gareth Whyte bit his girlfriend (Dorothy Pritchett)
in the face, ripping of a piece of her cheek and then spitting
it back her, in some Mother's Day debacle.

Well, I think someone may have been watching Silence of
the Lambs a little to much. I cannot imagine how traumatic
it is to actually have someone bite off a piece of your
face, only to spit it back at you.

While the skin graphing has been successful, Pritchett remains
scared. She has reportedly become agoraphobic as a result of the
violent attack. This is one of the many cases of domestic abuse
which for some reasons seems to sneak by under the radar.
In two words, fucking disgusting. Whyte is looking at 15 years in
prison.

His sentence brings me to another issue. While this is a repulsive,
horrible crime, he is getting fifteen years. Convicted child rapists
and cop killers get only two or three years. Doesn't that seem odd?
These are all serious crimes. seems to be very little if any consequences.
WTF? Good God, there are just so many things wrong right now,
I can't even think of a place to start. I realize pointing out problems
doesn't solve them.

Where do you begin when everything seems like a "Catch 22"?

Wait, Bush's Approval Ratings are Down? Get the Hell out!

This makes me laugh. Why is this even making news?
I've been told by several people that Bush only "won"
(I use the term loosely) because he had the likeability
factor. "He came across as the guy you would want to
get a beer with." I've actually heard this from several people.

In my opinion he is the moron that starts a fight at the bar.
He is the guy who gets everyone kicked out of the bar!
The kind of guy who puts beer nuts up his nose,
only to have them surgically removed later because
they got stuck.

The Gallup poll is reporting his approval ratings have sunk to 45%.
Ummm, isn't that still a little high? Does any one remember
the war going in Afghanistan oops I mean Iraq? What about
the terrorists we still haven't caught? Oh yeah, then there was
that whole natural disaster thing that leveled New Orleans and
surrounding areas. What about appointing conservative fanatics
to the supreme court? While Roe V Wade has yet to be overturned
I fear it's in the near future. Especially if the anti-abortion law
which South Dakota is attempting to pass, goes to the Supreme Court.

I cannot stand the sight of him and or his skuzzy, rightist,
conspiring, dishonest, constituents. I was not a huge fan of Kerry,
but I think he would have done better. I think Cookie Monster
would have done better actually! In fact since Cookie Monster
slimed down he could have worked with the FDA
on tackling the obesity issue in the states.

Hello McFly, what exactly has this administration done? Well aside
from sucked a fat one? None of this should really be a shock though.
Check out "Project for a New American Century." This document
was created by a conservative think tank, headed by the tin man
himself (Cheney). It included other scary republicans
like Wolfowitz and Rumsfield. In any event, it's not a document
I suggest reading if you would like to go to sleep tonight.
It pretty much outlines this war from A-Z.
Are four years up yet?

"Smack my B*tch up"

As I stated before, I don't believe in censorship but I really think
the media has gotten irresponsible and out of control. I never really
saw myself as one of those people pointing my finger at the media,
declaring they are the cause of violence. While I'm in no way negating
personal responsibility I think there is something to be said for violence
in the media. To narrow it down further, I believe there is a correlation
between violence in the media and domestic abuse.

In college I briefly worked on a rap hotline and it is really disturbing
how many woman are emotionally/physically abused.
Everyone is responsible for their own actions, no question. However,
people really do learn their behavior from somewhere! I've seen the
documentary "Tough Guise," by Jackson Katz, a few times. It touches
on some interesting theories. One being that the horror genre in particular
conditions young men to be sexually abusive. Most horror movies are
formulaic, running on intervals of sex and violence. At the sexual pinnacle
there is always an act of violence. As much I love The Toxic Avenger
and Fright Night, I do see a pattern. I wish there was more long
term research done on the topic. Other examples of domestic
violence in the media can be found on http://www.about-face.org/
(an amazing non-profit organization, based in San Francisco, focused
on changing the negative imagery of women in media). I attached
some of the disturbing images from About-Face.









While everyone has control over their own actions, behavior is
learned not biological. domestic violence and reproductive rights
top my list of social political priorities. I've had friends and family
deal with some of these issues. As painful as it is to experience,
it is possible more so, to witness it. Would you treat your mother
this way? Would you treat your sister or aunt or wife this way?
I would hope not. Just some food for thought. This is broad topic
and not one to be looked at lightly.

It is estimated that in the United states alone one woman
will die every six hours, as the result of domestic violence.
NOW (National Organization for Women) has reported that the
number of women killed by acts of domestic violence is actually
grater then the number of soldiers killed in the
Vietnam War. It's an issue that is taken far to lightly.
It's also a subject which knows no racial, or economic bounds.

Thanks Everyone!

On a personal note, I would really like to thank everyone who
has been checking out my blog and leaving encouraging feedback
either via blogger or aim. I really appreciate and I welcome any
and all feedback. I'll be posting later today so please check back.
Thanks again and have a great day!

The New Beat-A Different Kind of Sell Out

So in watching the news this morning, I ran across
a really interesting segment on bands selling out
and selling their music. It made me think. As I
said in an earlier blog entry, MTV has become one
big bowl of SELL OUT, but do the same rules apply
to the musicians? I’m not really so sure.

I currently do a lot of work with integrated sales
and marketing in television. It’s progressive and
innovative for the network, for the viewer it maybe
a little annoying but if it’s done correctly it’s
subtle. With Tivo and DVR it’s near impossible to
create revenue in Ad Sales, which is one of the only
two lines of revenue for a cable network (the other
being the cable providers). So what do you do when
you need to create revenue through advertising sales
and no one is watching the commercials (the airspace),
which you are selling? Simple, you stick the products
in the show! Brilliant!!!

I feel like it’s respectively the same deal with musician’s
selling their music. You have your classic rock bands, like
The Doors who refuse to give the rights to anyone to play their
music. Then you have Zeppelin who finally handed over their
music to Cadillac a few years ago. Still, artists like Elvis Costello
and Tom Waits refuse to follow in the footsteps of Zeppelin and the
Beatles. In fact Tom Wait successfully sued a company for attempting
to play Wait’s sound a likes on a commercial.

Other bands like Sting and Sheryl Crow have been welcoming the
opportunity to play their music against ads. Face it radio is dying.
It’s bizarre to watch what was such an innovative form of media bite
the big one. In college, in addition to working in the studio I was
forced to work on the campus radio station for a semester.
I had to learn how to splice and how to play from a reel to reel.
That technology which I used, only a matter of years ago, is
incredibly obsolete now. It’s ridiculous. You know what they say;
technology is a liability, turning over every six months.

Keeping that in mind, are these artists really selling out?
Or are they being flexible and smart? Sting sold “Desert Rose”
to Jaguar and weeks later the song-hit number one on the charts.
The same also applies to Sheryl Crow and Direct TV. I personally
found what is now one of my favorite new bands via a car commercial.
Telepopmusik’s song “Breath” was played on a Mitsubishi commercial
and I totally fell in love with it.


In an over promoted, over exposed, over advertised, none radio
listening society, aren’t these musician’s just playing the game?
Trying to get their beats heard? Everything is a business,
even art. While I strongly admire Costello and Waits for not
giving in to the bling and sticking behind their music,
is it a smart idea? Is this really selling out?
I think it’s a fairly progressive approach, which seems to
be paying off. While I think MTV has lost their rhythm
because they are completely about advertising,
I think there is a difference between them and artists playing
their music on the last billboard available, TV. The musician’s
aren’t changing their music to fit the commercial or to fit a genre.
They are playing to one of the few audiences now available.
If you ask me, it’s being smart!


*Sorry for any egregious spelling or grammatical mistakes,
I’m only on my first cup of coffee*

ATCA (Anti-Tom Cruise Alliance)

So I've been hearing mixed reports on whether or not TomKat
has been euthanized. Well, no offence but Katie...seriously,
you would be doing yourself a favor. Tom Cruise is ridiculous.
Personally, I had a lot more respect for him before he started
doing these interviews. I have nothing against Scientology
(though I do find it a little strange that anyone would subscribe
to a religion or lifestyle based on anything written by
L. Ron Hubbard *smokingun.com*. That said, to each their own,
clearly it's not for me, but hey Judaism is not for everyone either).

However, when you are a celebrity, I feel like you have a
certain responsibility, even if you didn't ask for it.
The Tom Cruise statement regarding Postpartum Depression (PPD)
continues to annoy me. Sorry, I must have missed an episode
of Tom Cruise, MD. Seriously though Tom, when did you get a
medical degree. It wouldn't shock me if both you and Bill Frist
graduated from the same class. It's fine to do your psychological
profiling (otherwise known as Scientology) but it's is another
thing to tell the American public they don't need drugs to
treat what, in some cases, is a life threatening illness.

"When you talk about postpartum, you can take people today, women,
and what you do is you use vitamins. There is a hormonal
thing that is going on, scientifically, you can prove that.
But when you talk about emotional, chemical
imbalances in people, there is no science behind that.
"You can use vitamins to help a woman through those things."

Oprah, maybe it's time to release that outtake of Cruise
falling off your sofa and landing headfirst in the audience!
Does that quote even make sense? Tom, are you saying,
that we should treat PPD with Centrum?
Perhaps 1 A Day is a better choice. Hormones which trigger
emotions can be classified as neurological, no?
So you are telling me there is no science behind a
neurological disorder? Please! PPD is recognized by the
American Psychiatric Association, the National Mental
Health Association and the National Institute of Mental Health
as a very real, very serious disease. A disease which, occurs in
15%-20% of pregnant women. Out of that figure 15% are
categorized as seriously depressed (many of which
will or have attempted suicide). So how dare you get on TV
and start telling people that these things can be cured with
some stupid GNC multivitamin.

It's true that America is highly over medicated. It's
true that not every situation warrants a medication.
However, this is also a very real very serious disease
and I will leave it to the professionals to diagnose and
prescribe medications to those who are in fact suffering from it.

Your responsibility Tom, is to keep your mouth shut.
For someone who asks not be judged based on his religion,
you are doing a lot of finger pointing in the medical realm.
God forbid Katie uses and epidural! I know most of you
have heard this before but I cannot even stand to watch one
of his movies anymore. Like I said before being a celebrity
means assuming some responsibility. Albeit, viewers
have a responsibility to weed out foolish comments by
deranged celebrities, but what about those who are not as educated?
What about those who treat the celeb word as Gospel?
It's silly, I know, but not everyone knows better and
you can been endangering those people with your dumbass comments.
People who live in glass UFOs should not throw stones.

What the Hell is MTV?

In the February 20th Issue of Business Week the cover
story revolved around Judy McGrath (MTV's CEO).
McGrath was quoted as saying "MTV can no longer
afford to pass up opportunities like myspace."
As it turns out Murdoch stole the internet social
net working site for a whooping $540 million
bucks. The truth is Murdoch hasn't done anything
special with myspace except for selling ad space.

Those at MTV have been priding themselves on being
inside the heads of their viewers. I think that is
total BS, much like the music they play now (or rather
lack there of). Not only is their line-up missing the
beat but they are running God awful programming. Enough
with this reality tv stuff. We have seen it all! Really.
McGrath seems to think she still has her fingers on the
pulse of current pop culture, but she is really off.
If MTV wants to stay on the mark I think they are missing
their target audience. I myself grew up on 80's music like
The Smiths, Psychedelic Furs, Bruce Springsteen, Billy
Joel, Air Supply, Breathe and Billy Idol, to name a few.
New music just doesn't bring it. Trance, Techno and formerly
Trip Hop are the new sounds to listen for. I find myself
listening to a lot of Indie Bands these days because that is
what speaks to me. A lot of my friends agree, this cotton
candy pop crap has past it's expiration. Pop is made by
anorexic 12 year olds, in revealing clothing and way too
much make-up mixed with synthesizers. Sorry but it's a little
hard for me to get into some girl who is half my age whining
over her boyfriend hanging out at some other chick's locker!

Get with the new groove and play some damn music instead of
these horrible shows or bring back the classics and play
to the VH1 audience (ya know the people who don't want to
listen to K-Fed). I have a feeling that myspace-ers wouldn't
respond to the MTV brand anyway. Not as is. People don't even
listen to the radio anymore. We are advertised to death.
The focus is on brands and labels, not music. I kid you not
it's like watching soft-core porn to horrible music.
That reminds me. After watching these videos is it really a
wonder that we are having such an issue with sexual predators
seeking out children????? Myspace is a good source for the
new beats, and MTV is a machine. They are so corporate,
that I'm not even sure it could be saved by filtering out that crap.

I guess what I'm trying to say is figure out your goal MTV.
Are you about money and ratings or about loyalty and brand?
If you are out to make money you won't last, because you don't
care about your viewers and frankly you are just looking for
the bling. If you are about loyalty and brand, I suggest
looking at vintage MTV like the Headbanger's Ball. Those
programs were about the music, and they weren't conventional;
they almost mocked mainstream. MTV is just another corporation
with funkier clothing crazy hair. Maybe it's time to try an entirely
different approach. Maybe something more political, and more
John Stewart/Bill Mahr-esq.

What it comes down to, is that people are ready for
something new. In music, as in fashion and media, sometimes that
means repeating history(in a funked up way of course).
If you play it they will come.

That Whole Dating Thing

So I’ve mentioned in my myspace blog, that I was dating some
guy who I liked but it just didn’t work out. The truth is I’m
still kind of pissed, while I won’t let this stop me from
meeting a nice guy. Trying not to focus on it too
much but this morning, I just feel the need to write it
out a little. Besides which, it kind of sucks that things
couldn't be left on a more amicable note.
I guess that is the way it goes.

My brother told my last week, “There is a difference between
getting what you want from/in a relationship and getting
what you need. I suspect you tend to go for a lot of what
you want and neglectwhat you need. In fact I would go so
far as to say you date the wrongtype of guy all together.
Besides this guy was not real nice to you.He wasn't upfront. ”

While it sucked to hear that, I think he maybe on
to something. I tend to like intelligent, creative,
funny somewhat off beat guys. Maybe I should be dating
people who are more grounded.

While I’m not a very high maintenance person, an
email or a phone call once or twice a week would have
been cool. I guess really what annoys me is he didn’t
bother to get to know me. The truth is no matter how
busy you are, if you are into someone you make the time.
Or so I’m starting to learn. In fairness, he isn't a
horrible or evil guy.

On a more fundamental level, I don’t believe in
love at first sight. I believe in something much more.
I believe in developing a friendship and getting to
know people. I think that really can change someone’s
appearance. Love at first sight, isn’t really love. That is what
we call lust and frankly it doesn’t last. It's kind of up there
with the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny. I believe in
chemistry, but that isn't always immediate. Besides what
is love at first sight going to matter when you are eighty
and you need an oxygen tank to look at pictures of Lindsay Lohan?

When I’m ninety and gravity has taken over, my boobs are around
my ankles, and all my meals come in liquid form, it’s really not
going to matter to me if the guy in the next rocker has a full head
of hair or not. All this love at first sight shit is just really a
bunch of boring Hollywood stupidity. It’s about knowing someone and
enjoying their little quirks and unique qualities. That is just
the way I feel about it.

None of my serious or meaningful relationships have ever
started out with some crazy jolt of electricity. I think the whole
love at first sight thing is a way to escape responsibility and
avoid commitment. So in the very brilliant words of my dear
friend Erin, “In a city of nine million people, he can and will
be replaced at will.”

Hallmark Holiday

Yikes!!!! So there are worse things in life then being
single in the city. You would think that dating in a city
of nine million people would be way easier then it is!
Gees, to tell you the truth I've had so many bad
dates I think I could write a book at this point.

One of my More Memorable Dates:

Like a year or two ago I met this guy at a bar.
We had been introduced via email by a mutual acquaintance.
So we met up at a bar down the street. We hadn't been
sitting there more then five minutes before he tells me
that if I'm interested in TV I need to learn how to flirt.
My first thought was-I'm interested in production and
development you dork, I'm not interested in acting!
Second thought- are you joking me? You are an anchor man
for Bloomberg television!!!! People are watching the
stocks on that station, not you! Can we say delusional?

This TV comment was followed by an attempt to impress me,
I think (I'm honestly still deliberating). He started
telling me how he drives a Saturn and how great it is,
and what a hot car it is. Now look, I have nothing against
the Saturn, it's a decent car. However, I wouldn't put it
in the same class as say a Bentley or a Jaguar. I wouldn't
use it as a line to pick up chicks. It actually made me
laugh out loud. Not only am I not impressed with money,
I have my own. PLUS IT'S A SATURN, my ten speed is more
impressive!!!!

Several minutes and two *Cuervo* shots later, I was
still fed up. Beer goggles or not, nothing was saving
this date! Not to mention he was getting pretty touchy
feely...ewww! I excused myself to go to the bathroom and
didn't come back. Rude yes I know, but his behavior was
just obnoxious, misogynistic and nauseating, all at the
same time. That has to be some kind of a record. Sorry
buddy, but there is not enough alcohol in the world to
get me to go home with you!

My Point:

I've never been a big fan of Valentines Day. I don't
think you need one day to show or tell someone you
love them. Shouldn't this be something happening on a
continuous bases? It's my opinion that its really the
small things that count. The day to day stuff, not one
day where you send flowers and candy. At least that
is way it works for me. Happy Valentines day!

I Won't Turn you into the Fashion Police for Wearing Snow Boots

Okay, I understand that you work on the Upper East side and you want to
look hot for all the Stock Brokers, Bankers and Lawyers. However,
the day after a blizzard may not be the time for cute pinstripe pants
and stiletto boots. I mean really, come on now. I walk from
Port Authority to East 45th Street every day and when there is two
feet of snow on the ground, I'm not thinking about strutting a nice
new Banana Republic pant suite about.

In fact, I'm thinking about how to walk to work without falling on
my ass and breaking my neck. Crazy, yes I know. I saw count'em
three people take a spill on the sidewalk this morning.
Two out of the three were women in heels. Of course I helped
them up and helped them to collect their crap that had fallen
out of their Louis Vuitton knock offs. I still have to ask, what
the hell were you thinking? Does it not occur to these women to
wear boots and to bring their heels separately, if at all, the
day after being hit with a record two feet of snow? I wonder why
brain surgery was not an option for these people...

I'm really starting to think there should be a law against some women
wearing heels. They are lethal. If I hadn't been keeping at least several
feet away from these fashion loving morons, there is a high probability
that I too would have been taken out! So for the sake of us all, just
wear some damn snow boots Barbie!!!!!

Kate Elizabeth Svitek July 1979 - February 9th, 2002

Kate Elizabeth Svitek July 1979 - February 9th, 2002

I couldn’t figure out why today has been so horrible.
It was rough getting up, a struggle at the gym and the
clock could not have moved any slower at work. I could not
tell you why it was such a terrible day to save my life.
Sitting at home with a bottle of wine, some sappy music
and my ibook is hardly my traditional Thursday night.
Normally, I’d be out with Erin or doing something crazy with
Albright. Maybe I would be on a date with someone. Who knows?
Not tonight. I’m a pretty happy person and things
are going my way, for the most part, but not tonight.

Tonight is about something bigger then myself.
Tonight is about Katie, wherever she may be.


Kate:

Where do I start? I grew up with Katie, my cousin.
Six months older than me, Katie always seemed to be two
steps ahead. While Katie and I always shared ambition,
it was not necessarily a common one. As I was busy climbing
ladders and swinging from lighting grids in the TV studio,
Katie was busy climbing Mount Rainier and setting up tent.
She loved the outdoors and appreciated nature,
whereas I loved my hair dryer and appreciated a great
Indie Band. What can I say, we were different.
I always respected and admired her.
It takes such a tremendous amount of focus and
determination to summit some of these mountains.

Every time I came home for the holidays I would see her
at the end of my driveway in her red SUV. She would
roll down her window and say “Hey stranger.” A comment about
the current color of my hair always followed the salutation,
without fail!





In the Mean Time:
(February 2002)

In Boston, I was doing the whole school thing,
working at Brookline Access Television,
ridding on the back of my boyfriend’s
(now ex-boyfriend) bike. Not giving so much
as a thought to the rest of the world. I was in love and
having fun. Graduation was upon me and I had
the rest of my life to think about.

It all changed with one phone call. I can’t
even remember the entire conversation. In short
my mother explained to me that Katie, the girl I
grew up with, the girl who lived around the corner
from me, the girl I spent nearly every holiday
with…was missing. Her parent’s Ellen and Frank
along with her brother Michael were in route to Bend,
Oregon where Katie had last been seen. The police were
investigating, and found that her car was still in the lot.
That was all they knew. She had been working on
Mt. Bachelor and had taken a quick run down the slopes on
her new snowboard before starting work.
She never reported in.

For the next two weeks, I sat glued to my computer and partially
attached to the TV. Watching updates on the net and getting
phone calls from home. Ellen and Frank were on MSNBC Today,
telling Katie Couric and Matt Lauer that their little girl had vanished
hundreds of miles away on some snowy mountain.

Not long after the interview on NBC, the search for
Katie was called off. A memorial service was set
for a few days later. Without hesitation, I took
the first flight from Boston’s Logan Airport back
home to Philly.



The Trip home:

I was numb the entire flight home.
The moment I saw my mother she grabbed me and
started to cry. She held me so tight that
I could hardly breathe. Of course not but two seconds later
I was in tears myself. I wonder if all mothers and daughters
are this way.

There we were, holding each other and crying
uncontrollably in the middle of the baggage
claim of Philadelphia International Airport.
We were attracting a crowd and at least a few
strange glances. Frankly I didn't give a ****
who saw us, or what they thought.

When we were able to move, we headed towards
the car and immediately drove to the farm.
I walked in the door and hadn’t even taken off
my coat when my great uncle Bob (Katie’s Grandfather)
ran over. Bob, one of the strongest
men I’ve known, threw his arms around me in
tears and said:

“I don’t have a granddaughter. Will you be
my granddaughter? I don’t have one anymore.”

The following day, they held the memorial service
and it is still a little hard for me to share,
so I will come back to this.

The Accident:

Not nearly one day after returning to Boston,
I received word that Katie had been found.
Some of the snow on the mountain had melted and something
reflective caught the attention of one of the patrolling
security officers. That light was the sun hitting
the end of a snowboard.

It takes 4 years to graduate high school, 4 years to
graduate college, numerous months (in some cases years)
to find a job etc. In a matter of minutes, seconds
really…all of that can just…perish.

Katie had “caught an edge” and slid into a tree well head first.
This well was nearly six feet deep. The impact caused an avalanche
and Katie suffocated. Within approximately 15 minutes,
that girl I knew, had died.

An Unhappy Ending:

So I’m still out there braving the concrete jungle
and still trying to break the glass ceiling.
I’m wondering where you are and what you would be doing
if you were here. So tonight is yours Katie.
True to form, you’re two steps ahead of me.
Missing you…