"Smack my B*tch up"

As I stated before, I don't believe in censorship but I really think
the media has gotten irresponsible and out of control. I never really
saw myself as one of those people pointing my finger at the media,
declaring they are the cause of violence. While I'm in no way negating
personal responsibility I think there is something to be said for violence
in the media. To narrow it down further, I believe there is a correlation
between violence in the media and domestic abuse.

In college I briefly worked on a rap hotline and it is really disturbing
how many woman are emotionally/physically abused.
Everyone is responsible for their own actions, no question. However,
people really do learn their behavior from somewhere! I've seen the
documentary "Tough Guise," by Jackson Katz, a few times. It touches
on some interesting theories. One being that the horror genre in particular
conditions young men to be sexually abusive. Most horror movies are
formulaic, running on intervals of sex and violence. At the sexual pinnacle
there is always an act of violence. As much I love The Toxic Avenger
and Fright Night, I do see a pattern. I wish there was more long
term research done on the topic. Other examples of domestic
violence in the media can be found on http://www.about-face.org/
(an amazing non-profit organization, based in San Francisco, focused
on changing the negative imagery of women in media). I attached
some of the disturbing images from About-Face.









While everyone has control over their own actions, behavior is
learned not biological. domestic violence and reproductive rights
top my list of social political priorities. I've had friends and family
deal with some of these issues. As painful as it is to experience,
it is possible more so, to witness it. Would you treat your mother
this way? Would you treat your sister or aunt or wife this way?
I would hope not. Just some food for thought. This is broad topic
and not one to be looked at lightly.

It is estimated that in the United states alone one woman
will die every six hours, as the result of domestic violence.
NOW (National Organization for Women) has reported that the
number of women killed by acts of domestic violence is actually
grater then the number of soldiers killed in the
Vietnam War. It's an issue that is taken far to lightly.
It's also a subject which knows no racial, or economic bounds.

Thanks Everyone!

On a personal note, I would really like to thank everyone who
has been checking out my blog and leaving encouraging feedback
either via blogger or aim. I really appreciate and I welcome any
and all feedback. I'll be posting later today so please check back.
Thanks again and have a great day!

The New Beat-A Different Kind of Sell Out

So in watching the news this morning, I ran across
a really interesting segment on bands selling out
and selling their music. It made me think. As I
said in an earlier blog entry, MTV has become one
big bowl of SELL OUT, but do the same rules apply
to the musicians? I’m not really so sure.

I currently do a lot of work with integrated sales
and marketing in television. It’s progressive and
innovative for the network, for the viewer it maybe
a little annoying but if it’s done correctly it’s
subtle. With Tivo and DVR it’s near impossible to
create revenue in Ad Sales, which is one of the only
two lines of revenue for a cable network (the other
being the cable providers). So what do you do when
you need to create revenue through advertising sales
and no one is watching the commercials (the airspace),
which you are selling? Simple, you stick the products
in the show! Brilliant!!!

I feel like it’s respectively the same deal with musician’s
selling their music. You have your classic rock bands, like
The Doors who refuse to give the rights to anyone to play their
music. Then you have Zeppelin who finally handed over their
music to Cadillac a few years ago. Still, artists like Elvis Costello
and Tom Waits refuse to follow in the footsteps of Zeppelin and the
Beatles. In fact Tom Wait successfully sued a company for attempting
to play Wait’s sound a likes on a commercial.

Other bands like Sting and Sheryl Crow have been welcoming the
opportunity to play their music against ads. Face it radio is dying.
It’s bizarre to watch what was such an innovative form of media bite
the big one. In college, in addition to working in the studio I was
forced to work on the campus radio station for a semester.
I had to learn how to splice and how to play from a reel to reel.
That technology which I used, only a matter of years ago, is
incredibly obsolete now. It’s ridiculous. You know what they say;
technology is a liability, turning over every six months.

Keeping that in mind, are these artists really selling out?
Or are they being flexible and smart? Sting sold “Desert Rose”
to Jaguar and weeks later the song-hit number one on the charts.
The same also applies to Sheryl Crow and Direct TV. I personally
found what is now one of my favorite new bands via a car commercial.
Telepopmusik’s song “Breath” was played on a Mitsubishi commercial
and I totally fell in love with it.


In an over promoted, over exposed, over advertised, none radio
listening society, aren’t these musician’s just playing the game?
Trying to get their beats heard? Everything is a business,
even art. While I strongly admire Costello and Waits for not
giving in to the bling and sticking behind their music,
is it a smart idea? Is this really selling out?
I think it’s a fairly progressive approach, which seems to
be paying off. While I think MTV has lost their rhythm
because they are completely about advertising,
I think there is a difference between them and artists playing
their music on the last billboard available, TV. The musician’s
aren’t changing their music to fit the commercial or to fit a genre.
They are playing to one of the few audiences now available.
If you ask me, it’s being smart!


*Sorry for any egregious spelling or grammatical mistakes,
I’m only on my first cup of coffee*

ATCA (Anti-Tom Cruise Alliance)

So I've been hearing mixed reports on whether or not TomKat
has been euthanized. Well, no offence but Katie...seriously,
you would be doing yourself a favor. Tom Cruise is ridiculous.
Personally, I had a lot more respect for him before he started
doing these interviews. I have nothing against Scientology
(though I do find it a little strange that anyone would subscribe
to a religion or lifestyle based on anything written by
L. Ron Hubbard *smokingun.com*. That said, to each their own,
clearly it's not for me, but hey Judaism is not for everyone either).

However, when you are a celebrity, I feel like you have a
certain responsibility, even if you didn't ask for it.
The Tom Cruise statement regarding Postpartum Depression (PPD)
continues to annoy me. Sorry, I must have missed an episode
of Tom Cruise, MD. Seriously though Tom, when did you get a
medical degree. It wouldn't shock me if both you and Bill Frist
graduated from the same class. It's fine to do your psychological
profiling (otherwise known as Scientology) but it's is another
thing to tell the American public they don't need drugs to
treat what, in some cases, is a life threatening illness.

"When you talk about postpartum, you can take people today, women,
and what you do is you use vitamins. There is a hormonal
thing that is going on, scientifically, you can prove that.
But when you talk about emotional, chemical
imbalances in people, there is no science behind that.
"You can use vitamins to help a woman through those things."

Oprah, maybe it's time to release that outtake of Cruise
falling off your sofa and landing headfirst in the audience!
Does that quote even make sense? Tom, are you saying,
that we should treat PPD with Centrum?
Perhaps 1 A Day is a better choice. Hormones which trigger
emotions can be classified as neurological, no?
So you are telling me there is no science behind a
neurological disorder? Please! PPD is recognized by the
American Psychiatric Association, the National Mental
Health Association and the National Institute of Mental Health
as a very real, very serious disease. A disease which, occurs in
15%-20% of pregnant women. Out of that figure 15% are
categorized as seriously depressed (many of which
will or have attempted suicide). So how dare you get on TV
and start telling people that these things can be cured with
some stupid GNC multivitamin.

It's true that America is highly over medicated. It's
true that not every situation warrants a medication.
However, this is also a very real very serious disease
and I will leave it to the professionals to diagnose and
prescribe medications to those who are in fact suffering from it.

Your responsibility Tom, is to keep your mouth shut.
For someone who asks not be judged based on his religion,
you are doing a lot of finger pointing in the medical realm.
God forbid Katie uses and epidural! I know most of you
have heard this before but I cannot even stand to watch one
of his movies anymore. Like I said before being a celebrity
means assuming some responsibility. Albeit, viewers
have a responsibility to weed out foolish comments by
deranged celebrities, but what about those who are not as educated?
What about those who treat the celeb word as Gospel?
It's silly, I know, but not everyone knows better and
you can been endangering those people with your dumbass comments.
People who live in glass UFOs should not throw stones.

What the Hell is MTV?

In the February 20th Issue of Business Week the cover
story revolved around Judy McGrath (MTV's CEO).
McGrath was quoted as saying "MTV can no longer
afford to pass up opportunities like myspace."
As it turns out Murdoch stole the internet social
net working site for a whooping $540 million
bucks. The truth is Murdoch hasn't done anything
special with myspace except for selling ad space.

Those at MTV have been priding themselves on being
inside the heads of their viewers. I think that is
total BS, much like the music they play now (or rather
lack there of). Not only is their line-up missing the
beat but they are running God awful programming. Enough
with this reality tv stuff. We have seen it all! Really.
McGrath seems to think she still has her fingers on the
pulse of current pop culture, but she is really off.
If MTV wants to stay on the mark I think they are missing
their target audience. I myself grew up on 80's music like
The Smiths, Psychedelic Furs, Bruce Springsteen, Billy
Joel, Air Supply, Breathe and Billy Idol, to name a few.
New music just doesn't bring it. Trance, Techno and formerly
Trip Hop are the new sounds to listen for. I find myself
listening to a lot of Indie Bands these days because that is
what speaks to me. A lot of my friends agree, this cotton
candy pop crap has past it's expiration. Pop is made by
anorexic 12 year olds, in revealing clothing and way too
much make-up mixed with synthesizers. Sorry but it's a little
hard for me to get into some girl who is half my age whining
over her boyfriend hanging out at some other chick's locker!

Get with the new groove and play some damn music instead of
these horrible shows or bring back the classics and play
to the VH1 audience (ya know the people who don't want to
listen to K-Fed). I have a feeling that myspace-ers wouldn't
respond to the MTV brand anyway. Not as is. People don't even
listen to the radio anymore. We are advertised to death.
The focus is on brands and labels, not music. I kid you not
it's like watching soft-core porn to horrible music.
That reminds me. After watching these videos is it really a
wonder that we are having such an issue with sexual predators
seeking out children????? Myspace is a good source for the
new beats, and MTV is a machine. They are so corporate,
that I'm not even sure it could be saved by filtering out that crap.

I guess what I'm trying to say is figure out your goal MTV.
Are you about money and ratings or about loyalty and brand?
If you are out to make money you won't last, because you don't
care about your viewers and frankly you are just looking for
the bling. If you are about loyalty and brand, I suggest
looking at vintage MTV like the Headbanger's Ball. Those
programs were about the music, and they weren't conventional;
they almost mocked mainstream. MTV is just another corporation
with funkier clothing crazy hair. Maybe it's time to try an entirely
different approach. Maybe something more political, and more
John Stewart/Bill Mahr-esq.

What it comes down to, is that people are ready for
something new. In music, as in fashion and media, sometimes that
means repeating history(in a funked up way of course).
If you play it they will come.

That Whole Dating Thing

So I’ve mentioned in my myspace blog, that I was dating some
guy who I liked but it just didn’t work out. The truth is I’m
still kind of pissed, while I won’t let this stop me from
meeting a nice guy. Trying not to focus on it too
much but this morning, I just feel the need to write it
out a little. Besides which, it kind of sucks that things
couldn't be left on a more amicable note.
I guess that is the way it goes.

My brother told my last week, “There is a difference between
getting what you want from/in a relationship and getting
what you need. I suspect you tend to go for a lot of what
you want and neglectwhat you need. In fact I would go so
far as to say you date the wrongtype of guy all together.
Besides this guy was not real nice to you.He wasn't upfront. ”

While it sucked to hear that, I think he maybe on
to something. I tend to like intelligent, creative,
funny somewhat off beat guys. Maybe I should be dating
people who are more grounded.

While I’m not a very high maintenance person, an
email or a phone call once or twice a week would have
been cool. I guess really what annoys me is he didn’t
bother to get to know me. The truth is no matter how
busy you are, if you are into someone you make the time.
Or so I’m starting to learn. In fairness, he isn't a
horrible or evil guy.

On a more fundamental level, I don’t believe in
love at first sight. I believe in something much more.
I believe in developing a friendship and getting to
know people. I think that really can change someone’s
appearance. Love at first sight, isn’t really love. That is what
we call lust and frankly it doesn’t last. It's kind of up there
with the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny. I believe in
chemistry, but that isn't always immediate. Besides what
is love at first sight going to matter when you are eighty
and you need an oxygen tank to look at pictures of Lindsay Lohan?

When I’m ninety and gravity has taken over, my boobs are around
my ankles, and all my meals come in liquid form, it’s really not
going to matter to me if the guy in the next rocker has a full head
of hair or not. All this love at first sight shit is just really a
bunch of boring Hollywood stupidity. It’s about knowing someone and
enjoying their little quirks and unique qualities. That is just
the way I feel about it.

None of my serious or meaningful relationships have ever
started out with some crazy jolt of electricity. I think the whole
love at first sight thing is a way to escape responsibility and
avoid commitment. So in the very brilliant words of my dear
friend Erin, “In a city of nine million people, he can and will
be replaced at will.”

Hallmark Holiday

Yikes!!!! So there are worse things in life then being
single in the city. You would think that dating in a city
of nine million people would be way easier then it is!
Gees, to tell you the truth I've had so many bad
dates I think I could write a book at this point.

One of my More Memorable Dates:

Like a year or two ago I met this guy at a bar.
We had been introduced via email by a mutual acquaintance.
So we met up at a bar down the street. We hadn't been
sitting there more then five minutes before he tells me
that if I'm interested in TV I need to learn how to flirt.
My first thought was-I'm interested in production and
development you dork, I'm not interested in acting!
Second thought- are you joking me? You are an anchor man
for Bloomberg television!!!! People are watching the
stocks on that station, not you! Can we say delusional?

This TV comment was followed by an attempt to impress me,
I think (I'm honestly still deliberating). He started
telling me how he drives a Saturn and how great it is,
and what a hot car it is. Now look, I have nothing against
the Saturn, it's a decent car. However, I wouldn't put it
in the same class as say a Bentley or a Jaguar. I wouldn't
use it as a line to pick up chicks. It actually made me
laugh out loud. Not only am I not impressed with money,
I have my own. PLUS IT'S A SATURN, my ten speed is more
impressive!!!!

Several minutes and two *Cuervo* shots later, I was
still fed up. Beer goggles or not, nothing was saving
this date! Not to mention he was getting pretty touchy
feely...ewww! I excused myself to go to the bathroom and
didn't come back. Rude yes I know, but his behavior was
just obnoxious, misogynistic and nauseating, all at the
same time. That has to be some kind of a record. Sorry
buddy, but there is not enough alcohol in the world to
get me to go home with you!

My Point:

I've never been a big fan of Valentines Day. I don't
think you need one day to show or tell someone you
love them. Shouldn't this be something happening on a
continuous bases? It's my opinion that its really the
small things that count. The day to day stuff, not one
day where you send flowers and candy. At least that
is way it works for me. Happy Valentines day!

I Won't Turn you into the Fashion Police for Wearing Snow Boots

Okay, I understand that you work on the Upper East side and you want to
look hot for all the Stock Brokers, Bankers and Lawyers. However,
the day after a blizzard may not be the time for cute pinstripe pants
and stiletto boots. I mean really, come on now. I walk from
Port Authority to East 45th Street every day and when there is two
feet of snow on the ground, I'm not thinking about strutting a nice
new Banana Republic pant suite about.

In fact, I'm thinking about how to walk to work without falling on
my ass and breaking my neck. Crazy, yes I know. I saw count'em
three people take a spill on the sidewalk this morning.
Two out of the three were women in heels. Of course I helped
them up and helped them to collect their crap that had fallen
out of their Louis Vuitton knock offs. I still have to ask, what
the hell were you thinking? Does it not occur to these women to
wear boots and to bring their heels separately, if at all, the
day after being hit with a record two feet of snow? I wonder why
brain surgery was not an option for these people...

I'm really starting to think there should be a law against some women
wearing heels. They are lethal. If I hadn't been keeping at least several
feet away from these fashion loving morons, there is a high probability
that I too would have been taken out! So for the sake of us all, just
wear some damn snow boots Barbie!!!!!

Kate Elizabeth Svitek July 1979 - February 9th, 2002

Kate Elizabeth Svitek July 1979 - February 9th, 2002

I couldn’t figure out why today has been so horrible.
It was rough getting up, a struggle at the gym and the
clock could not have moved any slower at work. I could not
tell you why it was such a terrible day to save my life.
Sitting at home with a bottle of wine, some sappy music
and my ibook is hardly my traditional Thursday night.
Normally, I’d be out with Erin or doing something crazy with
Albright. Maybe I would be on a date with someone. Who knows?
Not tonight. I’m a pretty happy person and things
are going my way, for the most part, but not tonight.

Tonight is about something bigger then myself.
Tonight is about Katie, wherever she may be.


Kate:

Where do I start? I grew up with Katie, my cousin.
Six months older than me, Katie always seemed to be two
steps ahead. While Katie and I always shared ambition,
it was not necessarily a common one. As I was busy climbing
ladders and swinging from lighting grids in the TV studio,
Katie was busy climbing Mount Rainier and setting up tent.
She loved the outdoors and appreciated nature,
whereas I loved my hair dryer and appreciated a great
Indie Band. What can I say, we were different.
I always respected and admired her.
It takes such a tremendous amount of focus and
determination to summit some of these mountains.

Every time I came home for the holidays I would see her
at the end of my driveway in her red SUV. She would
roll down her window and say “Hey stranger.” A comment about
the current color of my hair always followed the salutation,
without fail!





In the Mean Time:
(February 2002)

In Boston, I was doing the whole school thing,
working at Brookline Access Television,
ridding on the back of my boyfriend’s
(now ex-boyfriend) bike. Not giving so much
as a thought to the rest of the world. I was in love and
having fun. Graduation was upon me and I had
the rest of my life to think about.

It all changed with one phone call. I can’t
even remember the entire conversation. In short
my mother explained to me that Katie, the girl I
grew up with, the girl who lived around the corner
from me, the girl I spent nearly every holiday
with…was missing. Her parent’s Ellen and Frank
along with her brother Michael were in route to Bend,
Oregon where Katie had last been seen. The police were
investigating, and found that her car was still in the lot.
That was all they knew. She had been working on
Mt. Bachelor and had taken a quick run down the slopes on
her new snowboard before starting work.
She never reported in.

For the next two weeks, I sat glued to my computer and partially
attached to the TV. Watching updates on the net and getting
phone calls from home. Ellen and Frank were on MSNBC Today,
telling Katie Couric and Matt Lauer that their little girl had vanished
hundreds of miles away on some snowy mountain.

Not long after the interview on NBC, the search for
Katie was called off. A memorial service was set
for a few days later. Without hesitation, I took
the first flight from Boston’s Logan Airport back
home to Philly.



The Trip home:

I was numb the entire flight home.
The moment I saw my mother she grabbed me and
started to cry. She held me so tight that
I could hardly breathe. Of course not but two seconds later
I was in tears myself. I wonder if all mothers and daughters
are this way.

There we were, holding each other and crying
uncontrollably in the middle of the baggage
claim of Philadelphia International Airport.
We were attracting a crowd and at least a few
strange glances. Frankly I didn't give a ****
who saw us, or what they thought.

When we were able to move, we headed towards
the car and immediately drove to the farm.
I walked in the door and hadn’t even taken off
my coat when my great uncle Bob (Katie’s Grandfather)
ran over. Bob, one of the strongest
men I’ve known, threw his arms around me in
tears and said:

“I don’t have a granddaughter. Will you be
my granddaughter? I don’t have one anymore.”

The following day, they held the memorial service
and it is still a little hard for me to share,
so I will come back to this.

The Accident:

Not nearly one day after returning to Boston,
I received word that Katie had been found.
Some of the snow on the mountain had melted and something
reflective caught the attention of one of the patrolling
security officers. That light was the sun hitting
the end of a snowboard.

It takes 4 years to graduate high school, 4 years to
graduate college, numerous months (in some cases years)
to find a job etc. In a matter of minutes, seconds
really…all of that can just…perish.

Katie had “caught an edge” and slid into a tree well head first.
This well was nearly six feet deep. The impact caused an avalanche
and Katie suffocated. Within approximately 15 minutes,
that girl I knew, had died.

An Unhappy Ending:

So I’m still out there braving the concrete jungle
and still trying to break the glass ceiling.
I’m wondering where you are and what you would be doing
if you were here. So tonight is yours Katie.
True to form, you’re two steps ahead of me.
Missing you…